Only for You (Crave Book 3) Read online

  I shook my head. Well, I was feeling sick, but not nauseated. More, sick with anxiety.

  "Maybe we should go inside where it's cooler," he said, taking my hand.

  "No, it's probably better if we talk about this out here." I took a deep breath as he gave my fingers a gentle squeeze. "Cam and Sierra can't put me on their insurance at the shop right now. They've invested a lot of money into the new location and they're already locked in, so there's no way they can swing it until after January or February."

  J.J. nodded but didn't speak.

  God, this was hard. I was just going to have to come right out and say it.

  "My only other options are to find a job with benefits, probably somewhere closer to the Dallas area, and move away or..." I left the sentence sort of hanging. Nope, couldn't do it. I couldn't bring it up.

  "You could marry me," J.J. completed for me.

  I glanced up at him. "Or I could do that."

  The corner of his mouth quirked in a semblance of a smile. "You make it sound like the worse option of the two."

  I took a deep breath. "It's not that it's the worse option," I said. "It's just..."

  "Not what you planned."

  "No, it's not what I planned," I admitted.

  And I think that was what made it so darn scary. Plan was one of my favorite words. Along with list. If I had a plan and a list of tasks to accomplish it, I could do just about anything.

  At least that's what my anxiety said.

  I was going to have to be honest here but I couldn't meet his eyes while I was. I focused on his collarbone. "I think what I dislike about it the most is that I feel like I'm, well, forcing you to marry me because I'm pregnant. It's not the fifties anymore, single moms are a common occurrence, but it seems antiquated and—"

  "Hey, take a breath, please. You're getting paler."

  I looked up at him again. "I'm worried that we'll be stuck with each other and one or both of us is going to resent it in the long run."

  "What if we keep it in name only? We live in the same house, we share a name and the basic bills, and that's it."

  I frowned and he cocked his head. "What?"

  God, this was going to be a painful conversation. A lot more painful than my first time, that was for sure. "But what about sex? I mean, I'm not saying you have to sleep with me, but you're probably going to have sex at some point and I don't want to be married to someone who's going to be sleeping with other people."

  J.J. studied me and stepped just a bit closer. I tilted my head back so I could see his face. "I can tell you're being honest with me even though it makes you uncomfortable, so I'm going to do the same with you. Before Cam's wedding, I wasn't lying when I said it had been a long time. I've been working so hard for years that I barely have time to date, much less date someone long enough to have sex with them." He cleared his throat and a flush spread across his cheeks. "And, uh, after that night, I'm not really interested in anyone but you, so..."

  I swallowed hard. "I'm not really interested in anyone but you either," I admitted.

  "Then, how about we make a deal?"

  Wariness filled me. This was usually the moment my brothers did or said something that eventually came back to bite me in the butt. "What kind of deal?" I asked.

  "We won't have sex again until we're ready. But I do want to spend time with you. Whether we decide to stay married after the baby is born or not, I want us to have a good relationship for their sake."

  My throat got tight at the idea of getting a divorce after I had the baby. "Uh, is that something you'd prefer? For us to divorce after the baby is born?"

  J.J. shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't lived with you yet, so if you turn out to be a neat freak or you have weird morning rituals, I need an exit strategy."

  I shook my head and laughed a little. "Great, put all the pressure on me."

  "Hey, you said you were worried we'd be stuck with each other. I'm willing to try to make it work but the last thing I want to do is make you feel trapped."

  That was almost too much. I blinked back tears.

  "You have to stop being perfect," I demanded. "I'm hormonal and it either makes me want to kiss you or kick you in the kneecap."

  "Uh, there's a big spectrum between those," he murmured.

  "I know! It doesn't make any sense but I either think you're the sweetest man I've ever met or that there's no way I can live up to that kind of consideration and I should just punish you now."

  J.J. laughed out loud then and hugged me. "That settles it. You have to make an honest man out of me. I don't want to be too considerate, so you'll have to teach me how not to be."

  I huffed. "You've been friends with Scott long enough to know what my other brothers are like. If you want to see an example of how not to treat a woman, just look back on their history."

  "They weren't that bad," he said.

  I wasn't sure what sort of expression I was wearing on my face, but J.J. winced when I looked up at him.

  "Okay, I never thought they were that bad, but apparently I wasn't paying close enough attention."

  I laughed again.

  "So? Are we doing this? Are we getting married?" he asked, giving me a squeeze with his arms. He hadn't released me after the hug and even though it was sweltering outside, I didn't mind.

  "Yeah, I think we are."

  We were both smiling when he kissed me, a short, smacking kiss meant to be playful instead of sensuous.

  When we separated, we heard applause and looked over to find every member of the McClane family including Brody and Jacks standing on the other side of the living room window, clapping.

  "Get your behind inside and tell me exactly what's going on," Colette, J.J.'s mother, demanded. "I didn't even know y'all were dating and now you're getting married!"

  J.J. looked down at me. "I know it's early, but would you be okay with me telling her about the baby? She's going to be so excited."

  I was hesitant about all of this because I was still in my first trimester, but only for the next couple of weeks. At this point, it was probably okay.

  Then, there was the fact that my own mom knew. It didn't seem right that she was privy to the information if Colette wasn't.

  "Okay. But tell them they can't go spreading it around town."

  J.J. grimaced. "Maybe we should wait then. Because you know Mom can't keep things to herself. Half the town knew that Brody was going to propose to Cam within hours of him asking Mom to go help him pick out the ring."

  I had to laugh. "It's not that I mind her telling people so much as I'm worried what will happen if my brothers find out before we're married."

  "Maybe she can keep it a secret if I tell her it's literally life or death. My life or death."

  I laughed but our conversation halted when Colette opened the front door and demanded we come inside instead of doing all this in the heat.

  I definitely didn't think it was funny when my brothers did find out.

  9

  J.J. was right. Colette couldn't keep her mouth shut.

  I wasn't sure what to expect from her. When she found out we were getting married, she was excited and immediately started asking if my mother would be willing to let her help with the wedding plans.

  My only option was to shoot J.J. a pleading look. I didn't want to be the one to crush her dreams of another traditional wedding like the one Cam and Brody had.

  "Mom, Lee and I are going to get married at the end of the week. She's ten weeks pregnant."

  Colette and Malcolm were both silent then. But only for a moment. Then, I was being hugged by Colette, who was laughing and crying at the same time.

  "Another grandbaby. This is exciting!" she said as she released me.

  And that was that. There were no pointed questions or accusing glares. She and Malcolm took it all in stride as if they had no problem with it.

  Maybe they didn't but it worried me all the same. I didn't want J.J. to resent me in this marriage and I definitely didn't w
ant his parents to resent me either.

  J.J. explained to his mother that we were keeping the pregnancy quiet until I was in my second trimester, but even I saw the gleam in her eyes and knew what it meant.

  Sure enough, once I'd eaten lunch with the McClanes and extracted myself with the excuse that I was tired and needed a nap, which was actually the truth, Colette must have picked up her phone.

  In all honesty, I expected my brothers to show up one at a time to vent their anger. They were hotheads and impatient, but I never expected what happened.

  I'd just woken up from my nap and I was contemplating dinner. The day had been hot. Late September in Texas could go either way, but the heat was still no joke, even this late in the season, and it had ruined my appetite. But I had to eat.

  As I stood in front of my pantry, staring blankly at the food inside, I heard a car come down my driveway.

  Then, another car. And another.

  With a sigh, I closed the pantry door and poured myself a glass of iced tea. At least they'd waited until around dinnertime to come calling. I'd make them buy me food.

  I walked to the front door and out onto the porch. I watched as all four of them got out of their cars and convened for some sort of short conversation.

  Since they were taking their time, I settled on the swing, sipped my tea, and used my toe to push myself back and forth in a slow, gentle motion. Surprisingly, it didn't make my head swim or nausea churn in my stomach.

  Hmm, maybe I was coming out the other side of the morning sickness thing after all. Well, all day sickness would be more accurate.

  Finally, my brothers broke up their huddle and walked toward the porch.

  "Boys," I greeted them when they were close enough to hear me.

  My eldest brother, D.J., spoke first. "Lee."

  "What brings the four of you to my door all at once?" I asked even though I already knew. "I think the last time I saw you all together was at Mama's birthday a few months ago."

  All four of them glowered at me. If I hadn't known them my entire life, I probably would have found it intimidating, but I knew every little secret these men had—from their ridiculous fears to their worst screw-ups.

  "You know why we're here," Clayton said, crossing his arms over his chest. He was a police officer in a nearby town, so his stern expression was better than the others.

  I took another sip of my tea. "I'm guessing Mrs. McClane has been sharing the exciting news."

  "So it's true?" Robert asked. He was two years younger than D.J. and while he'd never been married, he'd dated a lot of women. More than any of the other three Prescott boys combined. He was currently single because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. I loved him like crazy, but out of all of my brothers, he was the main reason I was hesitant to develop relationships.

  "I'm afraid you'll have to ask me about something specific before I can answer." I was already irritated that they had descended on me en masse and now they were asking me questions like they had a right to expect an answer from me.

  "That you're marrying J.J. McClane because the fucker knocked you up!" Robert yelled.

  I got to my feet then. "First of all, you will not curse and yell at me in my own home. Second, you don't have a right to come over here and stand over me like a bunch of disappointed fathers." I took a deep breath because it was taking a lot more effort than I expected to keep from yelling at these four lugheads. "And third, I am pregnant and I am marrying J.J." I gave Scott a pointed look. "Someone you consider a friend."

  He shrugged, still frowning but not as fiercely as my other brothers. "I'm not sure I'd call him a friend if he got my baby sister pregnant."

  I couldn't help it. I felt the anger rising up in me and knew I was seconds away from losing my temper. Something I worked very hard not to do. I hated the things I did and said when I cut my anger loose. It hurt. That was part of the reason I tried to find creative ways to get my revenge. If I just blew up all over them, I always regretted it later.

  If I took the time to plot and plan so their own poor choices were why they were caught, I didn't feel nearly as guilty.

  So I turned and hurled the plastic glass of tea out into the yard before I rounded on them, pointing my finger at Scott first. All of them took a step back. They knew when I was angry that space was a good idea. Especially when it came to their safety.

  "I'm your younger sister, but I'm not a baby. I'm twenty-five. I have more than one college degree, two jobs, and I'm in grad school, so I am by no means helpless or unable to function as an adult." My finger turned to Robert. "And as I recall, you're the one who knocked up Rena when you were both twenty-three and y'all never got married, so you are in no position to judge me for my choices."

  Then, it was D.J.'s turn. "I never hear from you unless it's at Mama and Daddy's birthdays or the holidays, so I don't know why you would think I'd want to hear from you now. If you can't be bothered to talk to me on any other day, you have no right to come over here and try to read me the riot act when you don't like something I've done. Something that doesn't affect you in the least."

  Clayton was last, mostly because as a police officer, he was a pretty straight arrow, so he didn't have nearly as much crap in his past as my other three brothers. Well, Scott was a highway patrolman now, but he'd been aimless for a few years after high school.

  "And the same goes for you." With some of my steam vented, I was still angry, but also tired. Tired of them holding me to a different standard than they held themselves.

  Then again, I'd always thought my mother had done that too, when in fact it had been my own perception that created that expectation for her.

  "Look, I love all four of you, but if you think I'm going to stand out here when I haven't had dinner yet and let you lecture me, you can get back in your cars and leave."

  They looked chagrined. But it was Clayton who spoke up first.

  "You haven't eaten yet? It's nearly eight o'clock." He was already pulling out his phone. "The only place open is the pizza joint. You want your usual?"

  I shook my head. My usual was a deep dish supreme but pizza wasn't agreeing with me right now. "I want the grilled chicken and vegetables with angel hair."

  They all gave me strange looks. Not because I never ate vegetables, because I did, but because I never wanted anything but pizza when we ordered from the "pizza joint." They served other Italian fare, but most people in town just ordered their pizzas because they were pretty good.

  "You don't want pizza?" Clayton asked as if it was a concept he'd never considered before.

  I shook my head. "My stomach can't handle the sauce. I'll be up all night with heartburn or nausea, or worse, and I have work and studying to do tomorrow."

  I was also supposed to meet J.J. at the courthouse on my lunch break so we could get our marriage license, but I wasn't going to bring that up.

  Clayton didn't say anything else. He just walked out into the yard toward the tea glass and picked it up as he held the phone to his ear.

  I looked at my other three brothers. "Are y'all gonna behave if I let you stay?"

  D.J. pokered up a little. "It's Granny's house, I don't see why I need permission to stay—"

  I was saved from telling him to get off my property by Robert, who elbowed him in the ribs. "Shut up, Deej. You know Granny left it to her. She pays the taxes and lives here, so it's hers now."

  D.J. sighed. "Sorry, Lee."

  He'd always been like that. Any time he felt his authority as "the oldest" was challenged, he had to double down. I let it go. This time.

  Next time, I'd give his wife, Letitia, a call and we would hatch a plan to show him why it was a bad idea.

  "Come inside and get something to drink. Since you're here, I guess I'll tell you what we have planned for the wedding."

  They all stopped at once. It was a little funny to see all of them quit moving in unison.

  "You're seriously marrying J.J.?" Scott asked as he came up onto the porch, pocketing his
cell phone.

  "Yes, I'm seriously marrying him." I smacked my arm when a mosquito landed there. "But we can talk about it inside. The mosquitos are eating me alive."

  They trooped into the house and toward the kitchen. Clayton said the food would be here in thirty minutes as I got them all a glass of tea.

  "So, what happened?" Scott asked when I finally sat down with another glass of tea for myself.

  I gave him a droll look. "Well, you see, when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they sometimes like to take off their clothes and—"

  "Oh, goddammit, Lee, that's not what I was asking and you damn well know it."

  I pointed a finger at Scott. "That's one. If I get to three, you're out of here."

  They knew how I felt about them cussing at me because it was the exact way my mother and grandmother had felt.

  With four foul-mouthed boys, the only way any of us could have phone conversations or take them anywhere in public without offending half the very conservative population of Farley was to put a moratorium on the cursing. Otherwise, it was a tornado of f-bombs and assorted curses flying out of their mouths every other word.

  He raised his hands in surrender.

  "Now, I've always liked J.J. and we spent some time together before Cam's wedding and I realized that I was still attracted to him and one thing led to another. It was my decision and he didn't push me at all. So, don't take that caveman attitude that he must have seduced me or deflowered me or something ridiculously chauvinistic like that. I made a choice and so did he. I thought it would only be a short-term relationship since I didn't realize he was moving back and I was perfectly satisfied with that. But he did move back and he wanted to date, but y'all know how busy I am, so that wasn't going to happen."

  "So you decided to marry him? Like that won't take up a lot of time?" D.J. asked.

  "I don't have insurance, Daniel James Prescott, and he does. Also, he wants to be a part of the baby's life."

  "You don't have to marry him for either one of those things to happen," Daniel stated. "You can go to work for us at the office, helping Elaine and we'll put you on our insurance."