Bite the Bullet (Bitten Book 5) Page 9

  “Oh my God,” I whispered. “Since I’m now a vampire, I’m guessing I was hurt pretty bad.”

  Duncan nodded and put his hand on my arm. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” he insisted.

  “I’ll do my best.” I paused. “And you know what you said about it being your fault?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s bullshit. You couldn’t have known what was happening. Even if you did, how would you have avoided it?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered.

  “Exactly. So stop blaming yourself.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him when he threw my own words back at me.

  Smiling a little, he released my arm and got up to pour himself another cup of coffee. “How do you feel now?” he asked.

  I took stock of my body. “I feel great. Clear-headed, energized, and strong. Better than ever.”

  He smiled at my description. “That’s good.”

  “So where’s Asher?”

  I watched as the mask of geniality descended over Duncan’s face. The mask he wore to hide what he was thinking and feeling.

  “Duncan?”

  “He’ll be up shortly,” he replied.

  He was lying. He may have been able to hide it when I was human, but now that I was a vampire, I could sense his emotions much more clearly. He was lying and he was annoyed, but not with me. If I had to guess, I’d say he was angry with Asher.

  “Don’t lie to me, Duncan. Tell me what’s going on. I know Asher is here in the house, I can feel him. Why doesn’t he want to see me?”

  He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Shannon…”

  I set my coffee cup to the side. “Just tell me.”

  “He blames himself.”

  “For what?”

  “For your being hurt. He feels you had no other choice but to allow him to turn you.”

  “But that’s what I wanted to begin with! I asked Conner to help me do it! Why in the hell would I be upset about that?”

  Duncan shrugged. “I don’t understand the crazy workings of his mind.”

  “Well, maybe I should ask him.” I got to my feet. “Thanks for the coffee, Duncan. I’m going to get dressed and find Asher. I think we need to have a talk.”

  “Sounds like a good idea,” he replied, standing up as well.

  “I’ll see you later,” I called out just before he left the room.

  Duncan looked over his shoulder at me. “Maybe. Or maybe in a couple days.”

  He left before I could ask him to explain that cryptic comment. Though I looked clean, I decided to take a shower. I’d been unconscious for a few days and sponge baths just didn’t seem to cut through the grime the same way a shower could.

  Then I would find Asher and get some answers.

  Chapter Fourteen

  After I cleaned up and dressed, I left the guest room in search of my evasive vampire. Conner’s house was huge, so I let my connection to Asher guide my way. It was a little tricky at first, but I got the hang of it quickly.

  I wound my way through the maze of hallways in the mansion and found myself standing in front of the door that led into the gym. I could hear the sounds of someone beating the shit out of a punching bag coming from inside.

  Without giving myself time to think about it, I turned the knob and thrust the door open. Since I still wasn’t accustomed to my own strength yet, the door banged loudly against the wall and bounced back.

  Asher’s eyes came to me, but he didn’t stop whaling on the heavy bag that hung between us.

  “I think we need to talk,” I stated.

  He finally stopped what he was doing and stepped around the bag. I swallowed hard when I saw his naked torso. His tanned skin gleamed with sweat, delineating the lean muscles in his arms and shoulders.

  A droplet of sweat slid down his side, then along the vee of muscle that disappeared below the black athletic shorts that rode low on his hips. Suddenly, I felt the desperate urge to touch him. If I thought my attraction to him was strong before he turned me, now it was almost impossible to resist. The connection between us was tugging at me, telling me to get closer to him. I wondered if he felt it too. He was blocking me hard, keeping his thoughts and emotions bottled up.

  “What do you want to talk about?” he asked abruptly, bringing my eyes back up to his face.

  I stepped inside the room and slammed the door behind me. “You knew when I woke up, didn’t you?”

  He grunted in response, dropping his eyes to his feet.

  “Why didn’t you come see me yourself? Why did you send Duncan?”

  His head came up, his eyes angry.

  I shook my head. “No, he didn’t tell me. I’m not stupid, I figured it out myself.”

  “I didn’t think you’d want to see me,” he spat out.

  “Why?”

  He shook his head and turned his back to me. The rear view was even more mouth-watering than the front. Still, we had to hash this out. I finally gave in and let my feet carry me across the room. I moved to stand in front of him, close enough that he had no choice but to look at me.

  “Why did you think I wouldn’t want to see you?” I pushed.

  “I really don’t want to talk about this right now, Shannon,” he evaded. “Let me take a shower and I’ll find you later.”

  He started to turn away, but I grabbed his arm. “No, I’m not letting you avoid me. Answer my question.”

  “I basically turned you without your consent. You had no other choice but to turn or die.”

  “I wanted to be turned,” I argued. “You knew that.”

  He didn’t respond. I watched him for a moment. I still couldn’t read his emotions, but I could read his body language. His jaw flexed as he ground his teeth and I realized he was gripping the chain on top of the bag like it was a lifeline. His body was rigid, as though his connection to that chain was the only thing holding him up.

  Or holding himself back.

  Abruptly, I understood that Asher felt the same intense pull that I did. He was locked down, determined to hide it from me.

  “You’re lying to me,” I stated. “And you’re lying to yourself.”

  Asher’s eyes came to mine, the blue brighter than I’d ever seen it before.

  “Why weren’t you there when I woke up?” I prodded.

  “I told you—”

  “No, you didn’t. Tell me the truth.”

  He had to admit it before we could move on. Asher had to acknowledge that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Unable to resist it any longer, I lifted a hand and touched his chest. His skin was still hot and damp from exertion.

  His hand covered mine, pressing my palm harder into his flesh. “Shannon…”

  “I know you feel it too,” I confessed. “This pull, this connection. It’s stronger than before. Why are you denying it?”

  Suddenly, he released my hand and grabbed my hips, lifting me off my feet. He moved forward until my back hit the wall, his hands sliding down my legs until he hooked them around his waist.

  Asher’s face was inches from mine, his eyes burning brightly. “I have to,” he answered, his voice low and rough.

  My hands gripped his shoulders. “Why?”

  “I’m not sure I can control myself if I don’t.”

  I tightened my grip on his waist with my legs. “Why would you need to do that?”

  His gaze moved over my face, down to my mouth. “Because I could hurt you.”

  I cupped his face. “I’m not human anymore, Asher.” He met my eyes again. “Even if I were, I know you would never hurt me.”

  “But it’s happened before.”

  I could feel his erection between my thighs, grinding into me. I ached to feel it inside me. I yearned for him to hold me after the tempest inside me was spent. I wanted to fall in love with him. It would be so easy but he had to let the past go.

  I fisted his hair in my hands, yanking his head back. “It’s the past, Asher. I know
it hurts you. It’s made you who you are, but you have to let it go. I’m not the same person she was and you aren’t the same either. It’s been centuries. You can’t keep torturing yourself anymore.”

  He opened his mouth to argue, but I couldn’t listen to any more of his self-recriminations. He’d made a mistake hundreds of years ago, one he truly regretted. He needed to forgive himself, but the only way he was going to do that was if I proved that he wouldn’t hurt me.

  So I kissed him.

  As our lips touched, he pressed me into the wall, his tongue thrusting into my mouth. I plastered my body against his, pushing back against the wall in an effort to get closer to him. I must have strained too hard because we fell to the floor.

  I straightened, straddling Asher’s hips, and yanked my shirt over my head. He sat up and wrapped an arm around my waist before flipping us.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmured.

  “Shut up.”

  I cupped my hand around the back of his neck and yanked him down on top of me. Our mouths crashed together and the heat between us exploded into an inferno.

  I wasn’t sure what came over me. I liked sex, hell, I loved it if the guy was right, but this was something different, something elemental. It was a mating. I bit and clawed, leaving marks on his beautiful flesh. When the scratches healed too quickly, I raked my nails over him again, leaving more.

  Asher growled low in his chest and arched into the pain as though he enjoyed it.

  Lost in the feverish lust, I vaguely heard fabric ripping and then I was naked. I tried to reach for Asher’s shorts to pull them off, but he grabbed my hands, pinning them to the floor beside my head.

  I fought against his hold as his mouth moved down my throat to my breasts. Though his hands were rough, his mouth was gentle, almost too gentle. I squirmed as he licked and sucked at my nipples, using the lightest of pressure.

  “Asher,” I gasped.

  He chuckled against my skin then sank his teeth into the inside curve of my breast without breaking the skin.

  I yelped and my back arched as he repeated the gesture with my other breast. His grip on my wrists loosened. I twisted free and lunged up at him. We rolled across the floor until Asher had me pinned beneath him again.

  This time I didn’t give him a chance to grab my wrists. I shoved my hand beneath the waistband of his shorts and curved my fingers around his cock.

  He groaned and reached down, I assumed to stop me.

  With an urgency bordering on desperation, I said, “I want you inside me right now. If you stop me, I’m going to tie you down and have my way with you.”

  He chuckled low in his chest. Instead of pulling my hand out of his shorts, he helped me shove them down over his hips.

  I spread my legs and the air left my lungs on a hiss as the velvety smooth skin of his cock slid along my clit. His hand went between us and I felt the head of his erection prod my entrance.

  He pushed inside me with one slow thrust and every muscle in my body locked from pleasure.

  After that, there were no words, only moans and wordless cries. His hips began to slam into mine and the wildness overwhelmed us both. I moved instinctually, my pelvis lifting into his thrusts with each stroke.

  As the orgasm swelled within me, my mouth tingled. When Asher leaned down to crush his mouth to mine, my lip stung and I tasted the coppery sweet tang of my blood. I realized that my fangs had extended.

  I could hear the thundering of his heart over our harsh breaths and almost see the blood rushing through his veins. When I reached the peak and my muscles spasmed, I moved without thinking, sinking my teeth into the fleshy part of his pectoral.

  With each pulse of bliss, I drew more of his blood.

  I had no choice but to release him when he gathered a fistful of my hair and tugged my head back, arching my neck.

  When he bit me, the orgasm exploded anew. The pleasure lasted for a small eternity. I was unaware of anything but the feel of his mouth on my neck and the emotions careening through me. They weren’t solely my own. At some point, the barriers between Asher and I had crashed down.

  I wasn’t sure when Asher lifted his mouth from my throat, only that his face was inches from mine when I opened my eyes.

  Just from his expression, I knew he was feeling my emotions as well.

  I felt a familiar shifting inside of me, the same sensation I felt that day in the safe house, like a missing piece of my soul was sliding into place. As the click resonated within me, I realized what I was feeling wasn’t coming from within me, but from Asher.

  We were more than lovers, more than maker and vampire. We were soul mates.

  Chapter Fifteen

  After we recovered from our wild coupling on the gym floor, Asher had to find me something to wear because he’d destroyed my pants.

  Luckily, Conner kept extra workout clothes in the small adjoining bathroom and Asher found a pair of athletic shorts for me to put on. Even with the string tied as tightly as possible, I had to hold the shorts up with one hand.

  I tried to gather up the tattered remnants of my yoga pants and underwear, hoping that I wasn’t leaving pieces behind for someone to find.

  Asher and I were quiet as we hurried upstairs to the guest room I was using. We showered together and ended up on the floor of the stall, sweaty and spent all over again.

  When we came out of the bathroom, Asher’s duffel bag was sitting on the padded bench at the end of the bed. I laughed at the expression on his face.

  “Duncan did you a favor,” I commented.

  As we both dressed, I wracked my brain for the words to tell Asher about my visions. I knew he wasn’t going to like what I had to say. I only hoped he would take the time to listen to everything I had to tell him.

  “Asher, I need to talk to you about something and I need you to promise you’ll listen to me.”

  He sat on the end of the bed. “You can talk to me about anything.”

  I was pretty sure he would change his mind after I told him that the only way to kill Cornelius would be to bait the trap with something he couldn’t resist.

  “While I was unconscious, I had visions.” When I hesitated, he nodded encouragingly, so I continued. “I know what we have to do to defeat Cornelius and the Faction.”

  Asher straightened. “You had visions of this? What do we need to do?”

  I rolled my lips between my teeth. “I’m going to tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”

  “If it means we’ll win this war and be able to get on with our lives, I’m sure I can deal with it.”

  “We have to draw him out, and the only way we’ll be able to do that—”

  He shook his head vehemently before I finished my sentence. “Don’t even think about it.”

  Well, that was a lightning fast about face.

  I sighed because I knew that would be his response. That was my initial reaction, but I couldn’t deny that my abilities were stronger than before. I was not only certain that this was what we had to do, I’d seen bits and pieces of the final battle.

  “I need you to understand, Asher. This isn’t just a vague feeling or premonition. I saw what would happen. We will win. We have a future. I know for a fact that my friends and I make it out safely.”

  “Shannon—”

  I lifted a hand. “You said I could talk to you about anything and you would listen. Either stand by that or I’ll go to the Council with this.”

  His face darkened with anger. “Don’t.”

  My hands went to my hips. “Don’t what? Do what’s right for everyone? Save my friends? Save myself?”

  “It’s my responsibility to keep you safe,” he stated.

  “Why?” I asked. “Why, when I’m perfectly capable of keeping myself safe?”

  “Because you’re my mate!” he roared, jumping to his feet and pacing the end of the bed.

  “Whoa, stop right there,” I demanded, lifting a hand. “Up until I jumped you in the gym, you were
fighting the connection between us pretty damn hard. Now you’re saying I’m you’re mate? That seems more than a little contradictory, don’t you think?”

  He looked down, unable to meet my eyes, and took a deep breath. “Shannon, I—”

  “What makes you think I’m your mate?”

  When his gaze returned to mine, his eyes shimmered, lit from within. “Before I took you from the safe house, the night Conner and I came to discuss using you as bait, you felt it, didn’t you?”

  Determined not to give an inch, I asked, “Felt what?”

  He frowned at me. “The moment I laid eyes on you again, it was as if there was a part of me missing and I’d found it. Like a portion of my soul was empty and I hadn’t even known it. When I saw you again, I swear, there was a click in my mind so loud that everyone should have heard it.”

  His words mirrored my thoughts from that night exactly. I found myself leaning toward him, unconsciously wanting to be closer to him, but I held myself back.

  “Then why have you kept pushing me away?” I asked unevenly. “If I’m supposed to be your mate, why are you resisting it so hard?”

  He smiled, but it wasn’t a happy expression. “Don’t you understand, Shannon? I want you to have a choice in all this.”

  “Do you feel like you have a choice?”

  He shook his head. “This isn’t about me. I grew up understanding that some vampires found mates. They’re our fairy tales. I’m getting what so many want but never find.”

  “It is about you, Asher,” I argued. “And me. It’s about both of us. Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you’ve been trying to keep your distance?”

  Suddenly he was right in front of me, his face inches from mine. “Absolutely not. You are everything I have ever wanted for myself and more.”

  “Then why?”

  His hand touched my face. “Because I’m afraid, now that I have you, I won’t be able to let you go. Even if that’s what you want.” He sighed. “I don’t want you to feel like your choices are being taken away, Shannon. You’ve been living a sheltered life for months now with very little you could do about it. I don’t want you to regret this when you no longer have to lead that life.”