Seasons of Sorrow Read online

  Blake Holt shook his head but Charlotte could tell he was lying. Apparently, Nora could as well, because she got in his face.

  “Listen up, Mr. Holt. I’ll be contacting the bar. You can kiss your license to practice law good-bye.”

  He must have believed her because his face paled.

  Nora went to Charlotte, picked up her purse from the floor, took her elbow, and led her out of the law offices of Heron, Walker, and Holt. Charlotte was in shock. She was silent as her attorney led her to the elevators and guided her inside.

  “What am I going to do?” she asked blankly. “Can I even get divorced? I can’t stay married to him. He abandoned me when I needed him most, he’s been cheating on me, he’s a criminal, and he’s also an asshole!” Her voice rose at the end until it was almost a shout.

  The other three people in the elevator shifted toward the walls as though they were afraid Charlotte would follow her verbal outburst with a physical one.

  Nora rubbed her upper back, trying to calm her. “I’m just as angry as you, Charlotte. Don’t worry, you will get your divorce. It may take a little longer than we anticipated, but it will happen.”

  They arrived at the garage level and Nora walked Charlotte to her car.

  “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” her lawyer asked.

  Charlotte nodded and blew out a breath. “I’ll be okay.”

  Nora promised to call her the next day and let her know what their next move would be. Charlotte wasn’t sure what to think. So many things had changed in her life in the last four months, and she couldn’t keep up. She drove home on autopilot, turning the events of the day over in her mind.

  How is it she could be married to her husband for eight years and never know how low he would sink? Derek proved himself to be not just a criminal, but a complete dickhead. He screwed around on her, took as much money from their account as he was able, stole from his best friend and business partner, and didn’t seem to care at all that his little boy had died just a few short months ago.

  The confusion that set in after Greg’s phone call was beginning to dissipate. Her blood started to heat with ire as she thought about her husband. He was a liar and a cheat. What the hell was wrong with him? She was also angry with herself. How could she not have seen what kind of man Derek was after eight years of marriage?

  Charlotte pulled into her garage and jumped out of her car. She stormed into the house, angrier than she had been before. More enraged than the day she had broken so many of her knick knacks and Greg had cleaned them up while she slept off the crying jag that followed.

  Her hands shook as she dumped her purse on the kitchen table and looked around her kitchen. She wasn’t sure what to do. If she tried to pour herself a glass of water from the pitcher in the fridge, she would probably crack the glass in her fist or smash it against the wall, so strong was her ire. She half wished Derek would show his face. The thought of punching him in the nose seemed quite satisfying.

  Instead, Charlotte bounded up the stairs, two at a time. When she reached her room, she tore off her slacks and business-like blouse, and yanked on an old University of Texas t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. She tugged her hair back into a knot on the top of her head with a scrunchie.

  When she came out of the bathroom, the first thing her eyes fell on was a picture of her and Derek on their honeymoon. Suddenly she knew exactly what she was going to do. She walked over to the dresser and snatched up the picture. Then she went to the wall on her side of the bed and grabbed the photo of her and Derek holding Adam together. She would replace it with one of the pictures of just her holding her little boy. Since Derek didn’t seem to care that his son had died, Charlotte decided that he didn’t deserve a place in her memories of Adam.

  She was going through the house, removing Derek’s pictures from the walls and tables, when the doorbell rang. Charlotte dumped the armful of photos she held onto the couch and went to the door. When she peeked out the side window, she froze. She really didn’t want to see Greg right now. After everything that had happened, she had no idea what to say to him.

  Charlotte stayed out of sight and waited. Greg rang the bell twice more before he finally gave up and walked off the porch. She sighed with relief and went back to what she was doing. Maybe she would know what to say tomorrow. It might be cowardly but there was only so much upheaval she could tolerate at that moment.

  She went into the kitchen with all the picture frames and began to remove Derek’s photos. When the front door slammed, Charlotte went rigid. She looked around wildly for the phone, but the handset wasn’t in the cradle on the counter. Her heart pounding, she turned to run to the garage and out of the house.

  “Charlotte! Are you okay? Why didn’t you answer the door?”

  It was Greg. Charlotte stopped her flight. He came through the kitchen door, a worried expression on his face.

  “Thank God, you’re okay,” he said.

  She frowned at him. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” she asked.

  He just stared at her. “Since you’re not bleeding to death or lying on the bathroom floor, severely injured, why didn’t you answer the door?”

  Charlotte couldn’t lie. “I really don’t feel like talking to anyone tonight, Greg. It’s been a hard day.”

  His eyes narrowed as he continued to look at her. “You didn’t want to talk to anyone or you didn’t want to talk to me?” he asked softly.

  Charlotte looked down at the floor, unable to meet his piercing grey eyes.

  “Why?”

  She recognized that tone. It was a dangerous tone, one that signaled he was about to lose his temper.

  “I don’t know what to say to you, okay?” she said, setting one of the picture frames down with a snap. “You were Derek’s friend before you were mine and now he’s married to me. He stole from you. I was worried that you might blame me or be angry with me. Or even think that I knew and didn’t tell you.”

  Greg’s face relaxed slightly, but he still looked so angry. “I don’t blame you, Charlotte, and in the past few years, Derek and I have drifted apart. I still come here to see you because you and I have been friends for a decade now.”

  A tear trickled down Charlotte’s face. No matter what Greg said, she still felt guilty. Greg came across the kitchen and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her face against his chest.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry he stole from you and hurt you.”

  “This isn’t the first time he stole something from me or even hurt me. It’s definitely not the worst.”

  Charlotte lifted her face so she could meet Greg’s eyes. “What do you mean, this isn’t the first time? And it’s not the worst?”

  He stared down at her for a moment before he touched her cheek with his hand. “I can’t tell you about it right now, but someday soon, when you’re ready, we can talk.”

  That same feeling she experienced on New Year’s Eve all those years ago bloomed in her belly. The small patch of skin where his finger tips rested began to tingle and warm. Without even realizing it, Charlotte’s lips parted slightly.

  When she realized that she was staring at Greg’s mouth, Charlotte pulled away sharply. She had no idea what she was doing. There must be something wrong with her. The last few months had been the worst of her life and here she was thinking about kissing one of her best friends in the kitchen of a house she might no longer be able to afford. She must be losing her mind. That was the only reason she would be thinking something so stupid.

  Greg stood very still, watching her closely. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

  Charlotte nodded, unable to speak, a state she seemed to deal with constantly in the past months. She wasn’t sure what Greg was thinking, but the way he was looking at her made her skin tingle all over the way her cheek had moments ago.

  “I’m so sorry, Greg.”

  He just shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. You are as much a victim in this as I am.�
�� He glanced at the pile of picture frames on the kitchen table. “What are you doing?”

  Charlotte blushed at being caught acting like the woman scorned. “I’m taking down all his pictures. I’m thinking about burning them.” All but the photo of him with her and Adam at the hospital. She had a precious few pictures of her baby boy, so she refused to destroy even one just because her husband was in it. Instead, she would put it away.

  Greg simply sat down and picked up a frame and flipped it over to start opening the back.

  They sat in companionable silence, removing pictures from the frames until they were all done. Then, when the frames were empty, Charlotte found the photo albums she kept and Greg helped her systematically remove all the pictures of Derek. With each picture and the memories that went with it, she wondered if it had all been a lie. If not, when had the lies started? The first year they were married? The fifth?

  Angry and sad, Charlotte looked at the stack of photos, then at Greg.

  “Do you think it’s too hot to start a fire in the fireplace?” she asked.

  Greg’s eyes widened. “Are you sure, Char? This is almost ten years of your life you’re about incinerate.”

  Her jaw tightened. “I’m sure.”

  She was keeping all the pictures that mattered. Pictures of her with Brandy and Greg. With Adam. Those were the memories that mattered now. If Derek could move on so easily from their life together and remain untouched by their loss, then he deserved no place in her life or her memory.

  Greg stood and grabbed a stack of photos that she intended to burn. “Bring me some matches and some newspaper. I’ll get the fire going.”

  Charlotte did exactly as he said. After he started the small fire in the fireplace, they sat on the floor in front of it and watched pieces of the last ten years of her life burn to ash.

  Chapter Ten

  October, 2003

  Charlotte found a quiet corner and focused on breathing. She never really liked social situations and always felt as though she were suffocating. A small group of people she could handle, but this was her engagement party. Well, not truly hers. Derek and his mother had planned the entire party with very little input from her. Honestly, she didn’t mind. If she could have found a way to get out of attending her own party, she would have.

  When Derek proposed on New Year’s Day, he hadn’t had a ring. After a couple of months of shopping, they chose her engagement ring together. It wasn’t what she always imagined though. Charlotte wanted to be surprised. Even if it wasn’t exactly what she envisioned, a ring that her fiancé chose would have been special to her. The fact that he would have taken the time to think about what would suit her, to consider her preferences, that is what made her happy.

  Unfortunately, it had taken several months to bring Derek’s mother around. She claimed that she thought they were too young to get engaged, but Charlotte knew that Mrs. Fallon didn’t particularly care for her. She didn’t have the upper class background that Derek did and she was quiet and shy. The Fallons were part of Dallas society and entertained quite often. After they were married, she and Derek would be expected to make appearances at parties and events several times a month.

  Charlotte was not looking forward to that part of her marriage, but she would make the effort for Derek. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to behave in those situations. She always despised insincerity and fake people. While some of Derek’s family and friends were nice, they were aloof and, in her opinion, shallow. Everyone was so concerned with appearances and keeping up with the neighbors. She hated it.

  Derek finally convinced his mother to accept their engagement and she had immediately begun planning a huge, lavish engagement party. Charlotte had tried to talk her fiancé and future mother-in-law out of it, but they insisted because it was ‘expected’.

  So, after several months of preparation, the night was here. Charlotte wore a snug wine colored cocktail dress that Mrs. Fallon had chosen for her. It was very flattering, but not her style. It was sophisticated and revealed a little more skin than she liked. The dress was sleeveless with a square neckline that revealed more than a hint of cleavage. The back was also squared, but much lower than the front. The dress had been altered to fit her perfectly, just a bit more snugly than she liked, and it hit her a few inches above her knees.

  She felt slightly better about the choice after Derek saw her for the first time in the dress. His eyes had darkened and he had trailed a finger across her collarbone. Charlotte shivered under the touch, feeling a small shaft of heat arrow through her middle. They had dated for three months before she slept with him the first time. It had been nice. For the first time, she’d climaxed during sex. Though it didn’t happen every single time they came together, their sex life was better than the few quick couplings she’d shared with her high school boyfriend.

  “You look gorgeous, Charlotte,” he said.

  The look in his eyes was different than before. So, even though the dress wasn’t really her, she decided that it was worth it. Her future mother-in-law and her fiancé seemed to think she looked beautiful.

  “There you are,” said a voice behind her.

  Charlotte whirled around, clutching her chest. “God, Greg, you startled me!”

  She smiled at her friend. He looked so handsome in his suit. Though he came from an upper class family like Derek, Greg rarely looked the part. He typically wore faded jeans and t-shirts or hoodies. Charlotte always liked that about him. He was comfortable in his skin and felt no need to fit the expectations of others.

  Right now, though, he was looking her over head to toe, his jaw tight. Charlotte huffed out a small laugh and smoothed the expensive fabric of her dress down over her ribs and waist.

  “It’s not really me, I know, but I still kind of like it,” she said nervously.

  Greg’s face relaxed. “You look beautiful, Charlotte, and you’re right, it’s not something you would normally wear. Though you should probably consider dressing like this more often. Men everywhere would be falling all over themselves to give you anything you wanted.”

  The shivery feeling inside her belly calmed. “Yeah, right. Still, I think Mrs. Fallon did a great job helping me pick it out.”

  Greg looked as though he wanted to say more but Brandy came up to them, her sky-high stilettos clicking sharply on the floor.

  “What are you two discussing with such serious looks on your faces?” she asked playfully.

  Before Charlotte could use the distraction as an opportunity to change the subject, Greg answered, “How sexy Charlotte looks in her dress.”

  Brandy’s eyebrows went up at Greg’s blunt words. She looked over at Charlotte and winked. “Greg’s right, Charlie. You look hot in that.”

  Charlotte felt her chest and cheeks heat up and knew she was probably the same dark red color as her dress. “Thank you. Can we please talk about something else?” she asked desperately.

  Brandy nodded and smiled brightly. Greg continued to watch her, his beautiful gray eyes intent. It was as though he were trying to tell her something telepathically. The way he was looking at her made her feel hot all over.

  Unable to face him any longer, she took a glass of champagne from a passing tray carried by a black-attired waiter. The reality of her situation hit her. She was marrying into a very well-off family. Perhaps it was better if she didn’t think about it too much.

  “Are you having a good time?” she asked Brandy.

  Her friend smiled slyly. “Oh, absolutely. I have several of Derek’s friends on my string already.”

  Charlotte giggled. Brandy tended to collect men. She rarely kept any of them but she dated almost obsessively. Gossip around the college said that she was promiscuous, but Charlotte knew better. Brandy was extremely picky about who she took to bed and her standards were high. A man had to do more than take her to dinner once or twice to be invited to spend the night. Still, she’d only had a couple serious boyfriends in the three and a half years they had been at schoo
l.

  It was their senior year and Brandy seemed content to continue her habit of dating a man a few times before moving on to the next. Charlotte once asked her why she never continued a relationship with a man beyond a few months and she just shrugged.

  “I’m having too much fun,” was her reply.

  Greg finally seemed to snap out of his strange mood. “Jesus, Brandy, don’t start any brawls at their engagement party.”

  She waved a hand at him. “No way. Now the wedding may be a different story.”

  Greg and Charlotte both grinned in response.

  “Now, Charlie, how are things going with your future monster-in-law?” Brandy asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

  Charlotte, who had been taking a sip of her champagne, almost choked. She looked around wildly, making sure Derek’s mother wasn’t nearby. “Shhh. Oh my God, B, I can’t believe you said that.”

  “Well, you told me that she isn’t exactly crazy about the idea of you marrying her baby boy. I was just wondering if she was warming up any or if she was still treating you like an annoyance rather than a future daughter.”

  Charlotte drank some more champagne before she answered. “I think I’m a couple steps up from annoyance and straight into a nuisance,” she joked.

  Brandy and Greg looked at her with sympathy.

  “Charlotte, darling, I have someone I need you to meet.” Leah Fallon approached their group, giving Brandy a dismissing glance, but smiling warmly at Greg. “Please excuse us.” She put a hand on Charlotte’s arm and led her away.

  Charlotte looked back over her shoulder at her friends and raised her eyebrows as if to say, See what I mean? She didn’t miss the grins that Brandy and Greg were sporting at her expression. Knowing that her friends were there was the only thing over the next few hours that kept Charlotte from running as fast and far away from that party as she could.

  Chapter Eleven

  May, Present Day

  After the night Greg helped her burn her pictures, Charlotte saw him often. Sometimes, when they were together, she catch him watching her, studying her in a way that made her wonder what he was thinking. She mentioned it to Brandy, but her friend seemed at a loss as well.