Seasons of Sorrow Read online

  “It happens sometimes,” the cashier said. “That reader is touchy. Let me try it on my computer.”

  Charlotte handed her the card. Again, the screen read the same. Anxiety rose within her and, after seeing the baby earlier, Charlotte didn’t know how to respond. Brandy stepped up and ran her card through the machine, a neutral expression on her face. She didn’t say anything and neither did the cashier. Charlotte just stood mutely as they completed the transaction, then followed Brandy out to the car like a puppy.

  After they loaded the bags and climbed into the car, Brandy started the car but didn’t put it in gear. When Charlotte looked at her, her friend was gripping the wheel so tightly her knuckles were white. Suddenly, Brandy cut loose.

  “That motherfucking, cocksucking son of a bitch!” she screamed, pounding the steering wheel with her palms.

  Charlotte flinched at the outburst. Brandy had a bad temper but rarely lost it. When she did, it was usually ugly.

  Brandy twisted and looked at her. “Do you realize what just happened?” she asked.

  Charlotte shook her head.

  “That asshole, Derek, took all the money out of your account.”

  “What?” Charlotte whispered. It never occurred to her that Derek would do something like that. They had been married for eight years, together for ten. “Why?”

  Brandy threw herself back in her seat. “I suspect because he’s getting ready to serve you with divorce papers and he wants to be sure you don’t have the money to hire a decent lawyer. Or he decided to cut and run,” she said darkly. “It’s a typical practice during a divorce process, especially if one of the spouses is unemployed.”

  “He can’t do that, can he?” Charlotte asked.

  “Oh, he’ll have to give it back to you, but it would be after going before a judge and getting the judge to order it. That could take months.”

  Charlotte remained silent.

  “Let’s get back to your house and find out what’s going on,” Brandy said.

  Charlotte nodded.

  Charlotte sat at the kitchen table, her head in her hands. Derek had taken all but fifty dollars out of their joint checking account. He’d left one thousand in their joint savings. When they discovered what he had done, Brandy had Charlotte open a separate account in her name only and transfer all of the money into it. When they called the bank that handled what was left of her mother’s life insurance policy payout, they discovered he had tried to withdraw that money as well but wasn’t allowed since Charlotte had, on her father’s behest, set up the account in a way that Derek could only withdraw money with her approval or in the event of her death.

  When Brandy heard, she immediately had Charlotte start the process of having him removed from the account completely. Brandy explained that since Charlotte had those assets before she married Derek and that no deposits had been made into the account, only withdrawals, she was entitled to keep the account unless a judge declared it community property in court.

  The account only had about fifty thousand dollars left in it, since the insurance payout hadn’t been very large to begin with, but it would provide Charlotte with a cushion until she found a job. Brandy promised Charlotte that an attorney friend would represent her at a reasonable rate, but, even with the discount, that account wouldn’t last long if Charlotte was both paying the lawyer and living off the money.

  She was going to have to find a job. Something that paid relative well. If she didn’t, then she would have give up the house. Charlotte couldn’t imagine it. She couldn’t leave. All her memories of her son were here.

  It terrified her. She hadn’t been in the workforce for five years, since Derek insisted that she shouldn’t have to deal with the stresses of working and entertaining as much as his business demanded. At the time, Charlotte had been relieved, because Derek threw dinner parties for clients and employees constantly and she always did all the cooking and cleaning in preparation for the events. Or they went out for long dinners at nice restaurants, courting potential clients or celebrating the closing of a deal.

  Then, later, when she was pregnant with Adam, she was grateful she didn’t have to drag herself to work everyday. Her morning sickness had actually been all day sickness and the last couple of months had been especially rough. Charlotte had been on bed rest and would have been unable to work anyway.

  Now, the thought of job hunting made her palms sweat. Before she married Derek, she had been an office manager for a local business. The business had grown in the time she had worked there, so, by the time she left, she was making good money. Charlotte doubted she would be able to find a job like that easily. With the current job market, she worried she wouldn’t be able to find work at all.

  She also couldn’t believe that Derek could do this to her. It was becoming distressingly clear that her husband didn’t care about her at all. He also seemed completely unaffected by the loss of their child.

  That burning sensation returned to her middle. It wasn’t anxiety, it was anger, an emotion that was becoming near constant. All she wanted was her little boy back and her soon-to-be-ex-husband seemed to care less. It felt good to let the anger rise up.

  Straightening in her seat, Charlotte grabbed up her phone. She clicked Derek’s number and waited while the phone rang. Of course, he didn’t pick up. He never did the few times she had called him since he left. Obviously her husband intended to make a clean break, never mind the eight years that they had been man and wife.

  That was fine. If she left it in a recorded voice message, maybe he would listen to it more than once and it would get through the layer of indifference.

  “I just got off the phone with the bank, Derek. It seems you’ve been busy. You know, I was willing to give you a quick and painless divorce. Instead, you got greedy. Now, I’m going to fight for every piece of you I’m entitled to after eight years of marriage. You wanted to screw me over, well, now it’s war.”

  Charlotte managed to disconnect the call without smashing the phone against the wall, but it was a close thing. She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe slowly. What she truly wanted to do was scream her head off. It had been a long time since she had been this angry. In their years of marriage, she and Derek rarely fought, mostly because he acted as though nothing bothered him. When they had disagreed, she usually acquiesced because she hated for him to be angry with her.

  Now, she didn’t care. The ire within her burned off the numbness and exhaustion that typically plagued her since Adam’s death. When she opened her eyes, Brandy was standing next to her, watching her closely.

  “Are you okay?” Brandy asked.

  Charlotte nodded. “Did you talk to your colleague?”

  Her friend also nodded. “Yes. She’s expecting your call. She said you could pay what you could for now and then settle up the rest later.”

  That was surprising to Charlotte. “How did you accomplish that?”

  A satisfied smile crossed Brandy’s face. “Oh, Nora knows Derek. She’s met him a time or two and, I’m repeating her words here, thinks he’s an arrogant, narcissistic twat.”

  Charlotte shook her head, in awe of her ballsy best friend. Not for the first time, she wondered what her life would be like if she were more like Brandy; strong, independent, and gutsy. Instead she felt weak, insecure, and lost. She realized that she had been feeling lost for most of her life. It wasn’t until she found out she was pregnant with Adam that she felt that her life had true direction.

  For the first time in the last six weeks, Charlotte didn’t feel like crying. She felt like kicking her asinine husband in the face. She didn’t understand his detachment. Not just his disregard for her, but his indifference to the death of his son.

  Charlotte looked up at Brandy. “Since my husband doesn’t seem to feel emotional pain, then I want him to feel it where it will hurt him the most; his wallet.”

  Brandy’s expression grew sly and satisfied. “I couldn’t agree with you more. I’d also say it’s long p
ast due.”

  After all the revelations Charlotte had in regards to her husband, she was inclined to agree. Derek was definitely not the man she’d always believed him to be. She was beginning to wonder if there was more she didn’t know about her husband. If there was, Charlotte decided she probably wouldn’t want to know what other secrets he’d kept from her all these years. The pain she endured now was enough suffering for one decade.

  Part Two

  Spring

  No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn

  ~Hal Borland~

  Chapter Six

  March, 2003

  “Hurry up, Charlotte! You’re going to make us late,” Brandy complained.

  Charlotte stopped brushing mascara on her lashes to glance at her friend. “Brandy, seriously, I’m not sure about this. I’m awkward and I don’t want to make you and Greg uncomfortable on your date.”

  Her friend scoffed. “You spend too much time with your nose in a book, Charlie. You need to get out and socialize more. And don’t worry about being awkward. You know Greg and I love hanging out with you. Besides, we aren’t dating any more.”

  Charlotte wasn’t sure she believed it, but Brandy was insistent. “I’ve never been on a blind date before,” she said.

  Brandy waved a hand. “It’s not a date, Charlie. Derek didn’t have plans this weekend so he’s just tagging along.”

  It was Charlotte’s turn to scoff. Brandy and Greg spent a lot of time together, and she doubted it was because they were just friends. Plus Brandy talked about what a great kisser Greg was all the time. She was surprised they hadn’t slept together yet. Her roommate wasn’t promiscuous, but she also wasn’t a virgin. It was their junior year and Brandy had two serious boyfriends and a few not-so-serious boyfriends in the three years they had been at University of Texas.

  Brandy rolled her eyes. “Just finish getting ready, dammit. We’re definitely going to be late now.”

  Ten minutes later, she finally finished up. When she came out of her room, Charlotte saw Greg and a man she didn’t know sitting on the couch in the living room. They were both so handsome it made her tummy flutter. That tummy flutter always got her in trouble because she never knew what to do or say and unerringly managed to choose the worst possible topic.

  Brandy turned from her seat on the coffee table. “Great! You’re ready. I’m starving.” She stood, all long legs and gorgeous curves.

  The guys stood with her, both looking at Charlotte, which made her even more uncomfortable.

  “Um, hi, Greg.” Charlotte bit her lip and gathered her courage. She looked at the man next to Greg and held out a hand. “I’m Charlotte. You must be Derek, it’s nice to meet you.” There, no awkward pause and she said exactly what she intended.

  Derek’s smile was charming and his grip firm and warm. “It’s great to meet you, Charlotte. I’ve heard a lot about you from Greg.”

  Charlotte’s eyes flitted over to Greg and she blushed slightly. She didn’t understand why he might talk about her. He was Brandy’s boyfriend, not hers, and he was beautiful, way out of her league, and not just because of his looks. Greg had confidence in spades, something she lacked completely.

  She realized Derek was still holding her hand. Hoping he wouldn’t get offended, she removed her hand as quickly as possible. He was almost as handsome as Greg, something that made her twitchy.

  Brandy stepped in. “Okay, boys. Where are we going for dinner? Us girls need to keep our strength up.”

  Greg started to speak but Derek interrupted. “How about Crown and Anchor?”

  Charlotte bit her lip and looked up at him. She smiled tentatively. “Okay.”

  She glanced at Brandy, who nodded her agreement. Greg did as well, though his jaw was strangely tight.

  They all piled into Greg’s car, Brandy and Greg in the front, Charlotte and Derek in the back, and were off. The pub was crowded when they arrived, full of other college students their age. Somehow Derek finagled them a table when they got inside. He seemed to know everyone.

  As Greg got the girls settled onto tall stools, Derek disappeared to get them all something to drink. He reappeared with a pitcher of beer and four glasses.

  “Um, I’m not twenty-one,” Charlotte piped up.

  Derek winked at her. “I won’t tell if you won’t.” He poured beer into a glass and handed it to her.

  Charlotte smiled at him. A real smile, not just the forced upturning of lips.

  He leaned in, a dimple popping out in his cheek as he grinned back. “You have a beautiful smile, Charlotte.”

  She blushed and looked down. “Thank you, Derek.” His proximity made her uncomfortable, even though she thought he was extremely attractive.

  As though he read her mind, Derek leaned back, giving her a little space. The rest of the evening, he did things like placing his arm along the back of her chair and touching her hand, but nothing that made her twitchy. In fact, she kind of enjoyed it. He also paid attention to what she said, listening to her and asking her questions to bring her out of her reserve.

  By the end of the night, she was laughing and drinking with Derek the way she typically did with Brandy during their weekly Girls’ Night In or Greg when he came over to watch a movie with them. The ride back to the apartment she shared with Brandy was filled with her giggles and Derek’s chuckles. She never noticed that Greg and her roommate were strangely quiet.

  After they arrived back at the apartment, Derek somehow manipulated the situation so that they were outside alone. Charlotte fidgeted, clasping her hands in front of her. She couldn’t meet Derek’s eyes. She felt so unsure. Her high school boyfriend had been her best friend in junior high. Their fumbling in his parent’s basement senior year might have relieved her of her virginity, but not her inability to relate to men.

  After being roommates with Brandy for three years, Charlotte was no longer as shy around women and able to speak clearly and confidently to her professors, though she would never argue with them as Brandy was prone to do. Still, she couldn’t deal with her anxiety when speaking to good-looking men. Average men made her a little nervous, but handsome men made her tongue tie in knots and her palms break out into a light sweat.

  Derek stopped her fidgeting by sliding his hands down her forearms and lacing his fingers with hers.

  “I really enjoyed tonight, Charlotte,” he said quietly.

  She looked up through her lashes at him. “I did too.”

  He tugged her closer by her hands so that their legs brushed. “I’d like to do it again sometime, just you and me.”

  Her mouth went dry. He was the second most handsome man she knew, Greg being the first, and he wanted to date her?

  She wet her lips with her tongue. “I think I’d like that too, Derek.”

  He smiled slightly and rested his forehead against hers. “Good. Give me your number and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Charlotte took a pen out of her purse and wrote her phone number on his wrist. Her hands wanted to shake, but she just managed to control it.

  “Thanks,” he whispered, his face coming closer.

  She froze. He was planning to kiss her and she didn’t know what to do. Just before his lips would have touched hers, his head changed angle and he pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said before he turned and walked down the sidewalk toward the parking lot.

  Charlotte watched him go, a hand on her cheek. Despite the spike in anxiety the thought of kissing him evoked, she almost wished his lips had landed on hers rather than her cheek.

  Chapter Seven

  March, Present Day

  Charlotte smoothed her dress down the front of her thighs. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t nervous on the first day of her new job. She also wasn’t eager. She just wanted to go in, do what she had to, and come home.

  As she helped with everything else since Adam’s death, Brandy asked several of her colleagues if they needed an office mana
ger or administrative assistant. Unfortunately, Charlotte didn’t have enough legal experience to gain a position in a law office, but one of the partners in Brandy’s firm was married to a contractor and he needed an office manager badly.

  After negotiating salary and benefits, Charlotte had accepted the position. She didn’t have much choice. Just a few days after the debacle with the bank, Derek had finally returned her phone call.

  “Charlotte, it’s Derek.”

  He sounded calm, pleasant even, and completely unrepentant. Charlotte ground her teeth in an effort not to curse wildly at him. She didn’t like to lose her temper and, even when she did, she tried not to use foul language, though the stresses of the last two months had caused her to do so more than once. However, Derek’s behavior pushed her closer to that edge.

  “Derek,” she replied.

  “I’m calling about your message a few days ago.”

  She waited in silence.

  Finally, Derek cleared his throat and spoke again. “I would like to sit down with a mediator and discuss this rationally.”

  Charlotte took a deep breath. Then another. When she knew that she could speak without shrieking, she replied, “Okay. I’m willing to do that. However, if you pull anything else like what you did a few days ago, I’m going to hire the biggest, man-eating attorney that Brandy can find me, no matter the cost. Then I will let them dig around until I have everything but the skin from your bones.”

  Derek waited a few seconds before replying.

  “I’m serious, Charlotte.”

  “So am I, Derek,” she replied immediately.

  The conversation grew even more tense.

  “I can see that you’re not willing to be reasonable about this right now. We can talk again in a few days.”

  “I’ll tell you what, Derek, I’ll text you the name and number of my attorney when I’ve decided who to use and you can set everything up through them since you obviously don’t understand the magnitude of what you did. I’m done playing your doormat,” Charlotte responded.