Seasons of Sorrow Read online

  “I bought you a tree,” he said.

  “Greg, I told you…” she began, only to be stopped by his finger over her lips.

  “I know what you said, Charlie. And I know that you’re struggling. I see it every day in your eyes.” He tilted her head back with his fingers so that she was forced to meet his gaze. “But this is our first Christmas together. I would at least like to decorate a tree. If that’s all we do this year, that’s fine, but it’s a tradition I would like to start from the beginning.” He cleared his throat. “If you’ll recall, we’ve decorated a tree together since the year we met. I would miss it if we didn’t do it this year.”

  Charlotte thought about Greg’s words and realized he was right. She and Greg and Brandy always decorated at least one tree together. Sometimes they would each get their own trees and spend a week getting all three of them decorated.

  She sighed. Faced with Brandy and Greg, she couldn’t say no. Greg also had a point. It was a tradition amongst the three of them, though usually it was Brandy and her decorating his house, rather than all three of them at hers.

  “Okay. Let me change out of my work clothes and get a cup of coffee, then we can start,” she said.

  Greg gave her a quick kiss. “How about I make you a cup of hot chocolate while you change?”

  That actually sounded good, so Charlotte nodded and headed toward the stairs.

  Thirty minutes later, she was in a pair of jeans and a sweater, her hot chocolate consumed, and the tree was almost done. With the three of them hanging ornaments, it didn’t take much time. Though Greg hadn’t hung many. Instead, he built a fire in her fireplace, making the living room seem especially cozy.

  Once they finished, Charlotte made everyone a cup of hot chocolate and they sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, soaking up the warmth and the smell of the burning wood. Now that the tree was finished and the lights were lit, Charlotte was glad Brandy and Greg had talked her into setting it up. The pretty ornaments and twinkling lights helped lift her spirits, and they were flagging enough as it was.

  After Brandy drank her hot chocolate, she rose to her feet, placing the cup on the coffee table.

  “I hate to do a hit and run,” she said, “but my caseload is hell this week. I want to get caught up before Christmas so I can actually enjoy my holiday.”

  Charlotte stood too and hugged her friend. “You work too hard,” she said.

  For once, instead of defending herself, Brandy responded, “You’re right. I do. I think I’m going to take some time off after the new year.”

  Charlotte gaped at her friend, then placed the back of her hand to Brandy’s forehead. “Are you sick or something?”

  Brandy smirked and shook her head. “No, just tired. I’ll call you later, okay?” she said.

  Charlotte nodded and walked her friend to the door. She waited until Brandy was in her car and on her way before she shut the door. When she turned around, Greg was standing in the center of the living room, his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish.

  “What is it?” Charlotte asked.

  “I’m sorry I ambushed you with the tree. My parents weren’t big on holiday traditions when I was growing up and this is the only one I really have,” he said.

  When he said it like that, Charlotte was happy that he had gotten the tree anyway. Greg’s parents always had been a little aloof and self-centered. She doubted they thought much about Greg when he was a little boy, much less about what might make him happy around the holidays.

  She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m glad you did.” She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “You’re right. I am struggling. My first instincts are to pull away from you, but that’s not what I really want. I’ve been so depressed since Adam’s birthday and I know that is why I want to push you away.” She squeezed his waist with her arms. “But this helped. Reliving all those good memories with you and Brandy, it reminded me of what’s really important.”

  Greg hugged her back, seemingly content just to hold her in his arms.

  Charlotte felt the familiar stirring in her abdomen and was suddenly very aware that it had been almost two weeks since she and Greg had made love. Because she had turned inward so much, she hadn’t even realized that they were sleeping beside one another every night, but he never touched her sexually. Now, her body needed him as much as her heart did.

  She put her palm to Greg’s cheek. “Speaking of tradition, I think we should start one of our own.”

  He raised an eyebrow when she led him to the carpet in front of the fire.

  “Will you make love to me by the fire, Greg?” she asked.

  Greg studied her, his eyes searching. He must have seen what he needed because he leaned forward and kissed her.

  Charlotte felt her heart leap as he cradled her against him as though she were precious and kissed her. Slowly, he pulled her sweatshirt over her head and ran his hands down her sides. Charlotte shivered under the sweet, gentle touch. She began to unbutton his dark grey shirt, caressing each inch of skin as it was revealed.

  Still taking his time, Greg moved his mouth down her neck, over her sternum, to her breasts. As he marked the top of her right breast with a small love bite, he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and pulled them down. After Charlotte stepped out of them, he placed his palms over her hipbones. His fingers wrapped around her hips and this thumbs pressed together right above her mound. He dragged them down slowly until the pads of his thumbs pressed into her clitoris over the lace of her panties.

  Charlotte made a desperate noise as Greg used one thumb to massage her. He stopped a few moments later, after letting her have just a taste of what he intended to give her. He drew the panties down her legs and got to his feet. Greg spread his fingers and used them to trace up the outside of her thighs, over her hips, to her lower back. They moved higher until his fingers closed over the fastening of her bra. He unhooked it and pulled the straps of the undergarment over her shoulders before removing it completely and dropping it on the floor.

  Then Charlotte stood naked before him and Greg stared at her body with reverence. It had taken time for her to become accustomed to being nude in front of him, but Charlotte rarely had the urge to cover herself any longer. Instead, she reached for his belt. After she unbuckled it, she opened his pants and let them fall to his ankles.

  Greg watched as she slowly got to her knees and helped him remove his shoes, socks, and the pants she just unbuttoned. The muscles in his stomach contracted as her fingertips curled over the waistband of his boxer briefs. His breathing was heavy as she removed his underwear, pulling it down his legs, and tossing it to the side just as he had done with her panties.

  When Charlotte’s mouth closed over the tip of his erection, he had to lock his knees to keep from collapsing because the sensation caused his legs to shake. He watched her lick and suck his length for long minutes, enjoying both the sight and the sensation, before he gently pulled away and dropped to his knees as well.

  After the first few times they made love, they discussed birth control and Charlotte had gone to the doctor and started the Pill. She also had the doctor test her for diseases. Since her estranged husband had God knows how many lovers since they’d gotten married, she thought it would be smart to get tested. Greg was tested as well, though Charlotte believed him when he said he hadn’t been with anyone since his last physical almost eighteen months before. He said he wanted her to know without a doubt that she was safe with him.

  They had continued to use condoms for the next few weeks, but, after Adam’s birthday, Charlotte had lost all desire for intimacy.

  This would be the first time they would make love with nothing between them, only skin to skin. She knew it would be beautiful and more intense than anything she’d ever felt before. Greg laid her back on the carpet and pressed a kiss to her stomach, just below her belly button. His mouth moved to her breasts and he laved and sucked her nipples until she was moaning beneath him. When he m
oved his hand down her torso toward her center, she immediately opened her thighs for him.

  At the first touch of his fingers, Charlotte threw her head back and gasped.

  “God, you’re so wet for me,” he whispered.

  As one of his fingers entered her, Charlotte arched her back and whispered, “Yes.”

  He continued to lavish attention on her breasts, the sensations he caused were so pleasurable they were almost painful. Then he pressed two fingers inside of her and began to rub small firm circles over her clitoris with his thumb.

  Within a minute or two, Charlotte was ready to climax. She whimpered in disappointment as he withdrew his hand. Immediately, his hand was replaced with the hard, hot length of his erection. Charlotte spread her legs wider to accommodate his hips as he moved between her thighs.

  Greg pressed into her opening and she was so wet and ready, he slid inside her completely. Charlotte gasped at the sudden intrusion. After a few weeks of abstinence, she felt almost too full.

  “Oh God,” she moaned.

  “Sh, baby. I have you,” he murmured. “You feel amazing.”

  He kissed her neck softly. “I love you,” he said into her ear.

  Greg held perfectly still for a few moments, giving her time to adjust. Once she relaxed under him, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was a kiss that shattered her heart and mended it all at once. Like the kiss he’d given her on New Year’s Eve all those years ago, it called to her very soul. This moment was beyond lust, beyond even love. Charlotte realized that he filled the empty spaces within her. He was part of her soul. There would always be a void in her heart that could only belong to her son, but the rest of the darkness inside her was for Greg to help her fill.

  “Greg,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

  He kissed her again as he began to move. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, trying to pull him as deeply inside her as possible. At last, the tension winding in her pelvis exploded and Charlotte came. She realized that Greg was right there with her, that they were experiencing the peak together, and it made the tears in her eyes trickle down her face from the beauty of it.

  As she came down, panting and struggling not to cry, Charlotte reached up and cupped Greg’s face. His beloved face with amazing blue-grey eyes that saw straight into her heart and knew her deepest secrets and darkest places.

  “I love you, Greg,” she said.

  He stopped breathing. “Say that again,” he demanded hoarsely.

  Charlotte licked her dry lips. “I love you, Gregory Swift.”

  His eyes turned to pure mercury. “I love you too, Charlotte,” he said.

  Then he kissed her for a long time. Finally, he got to his feet, lifted her into his arms, and carried her upstairs where he made love to her again and again. Each time, before he would allow her to climax, he demanded that she say it again, until Charlotte thought she would die from the pleasure he was giving her.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The next morning, Charlotte awoke in the bed alone. She saw a note sitting on the pillow Greg usually used.

  Out for coffee and bagels.

  He’d signed it with a heart and the letter G.

  Charlotte smiled and put the note back on the pillow. It was nice to know that she wouldn’t even have to get up and make coffee. Before she could decide if she was ready to get out of bed, the doorbell pealed. It seemed Greg was back with the bagels, she thought. Why he didn’t use the hide-a-key, she didn’t know.

  She threw on her robe and darted downstairs. The bell rang again, several times in a row, and Charlotte laughed, thinking it must be cold out and that Greg was in a hurry to get inside.

  “Patience, Greg. I’m coming. You sort of wore me out last night….” her voice trailed off as she opened the door to find Derek standing on the porch.

  Before she could react, he walked past her into the house, crowding her back from the door. He shut it behind him.

  “Hello, Charlotte,” he said. “I see Greg finally made his move.”

  A sly look came over his face, an expression Charlotte had never seen him wear before. “Too bad they’re my sloppy seconds.”

  At the smug tone, she came out of her stupor. As she remembered all the cold, hurtful things this man had said and done to her, Charlotte lost her temper and did something she never thought she would ever be capable of doing. She punched rat bastard in the nose. The crunch of cartilage was followed by blood. Surprisingly, she didn’t find this disgusting at all. In fact, she was slightly disappointed at the small amount of blood dripping from his nose. It would have been nice if it were more of a gush.

  Seeing her estranged husband clutching his face just didn’t satisfy her rage, so Charlotte took a preparatory step back and then kicked him in the nuts as hard as she could. When Derek crumpled to the ground, wheezing and coughing, she decided that she felt much better. She walked away from the prone form of her soon-to-be ex-husband and went into the kitchen to make coffee. Even though Greg was bringing her a latte, she needed the caffeine now.

  As she was waiting for her coffee to brew, Charlotte heard the front door open and Greg’s incredulous voice.

  “What in the hell?”

  She heard Derek groan. Then Greg said, “On your feet, jackass. What happened to you?”

  Charlotte smiled to herself when she heard Derek answer, “Charlotte.”

  His voice was hoarse and quiet. She imagined he was in a lot of pain. It may have been petty of her, but she hoped that was the case. He deserved that and a hell of a lot more.

  She had just finished adding sugar and creamer to her coffee and was about to take her first sip when Greg walked through the kitchen door, helping a limping Derek. Now that she was calming down, Charlotte noticed that her husband looked fit and tan. Obviously he had been somewhere sunny after he left her. It made her want to punch him in the nose all over again. While she had been wrestling with her grief, he’d been out getting some sun.

  She watched dispassionately as Greg let Derek drop into a kitchen chair. Derek moaned and bent at the waist to rest his head on the kitchen table. Charlotte grabbed some paper towels and took them over to him.

  “Use these on your nose. I don’t want blood on my table,” she said.

  Derek took them and stared at her with surprised eyes. Before she could walk away, he grabbed her hand.

  When Charlotte stopped and stared hard at where his hand was wrapped around her wrist then up at his face, he released her as though she burned him.

  “May I have some ice?” he asked.

  She nodded and walked away.

  Greg stood in the corner of the kitchen, his back leaning against the counter and his arms crossed over his chest. He was staring at Derek, his facial expression stony. As Charlotte grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer, Greg began to ask questions.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. His voice was tight and Charlotte could see he was barely hanging onto his temper.

  Derek didn’t answer, and Greg’s body tightened further.

  “Where’s the money you took, Derek?” Greg asked.

  Charlotte wrapped the peas in a towel and tossed them on the kitchen table in front of Derek. Her husband flinched when they landed in front of him with a loud smack, but didn’t answer Greg’s question. Calmly, she walked to the mudroom, opened her purse, and pulled Agent Bray’s card out of her wallet. Then she went back into the kitchen and picked up the cordless phone on the counter.

  “What are you doing?” Greg asked.

  “Calling the FBI,” she answered. “I’m sure they would like to know my estranged husband is in town.”

  “Wait, wait,” Derek said, “I came make things right.”

  Charlotte hung up the phone and turned to fix Derek with a cold stare. “How could you possibly make this right, Derek? You have hurt everyone in your life.”

  He looked ridiculous with the paper towels held to his nose and the peas on his lap. He shifted on his chair and
winced.

  “Danielle is pregnant and it’s been difficult for her. She’s due in two months and wanted to come back to be with her family for the birth.”

  The knowledge pierced Charlotte’s heart like a knife and she flinched at the bite. After the first rush of pain receded, she wanted to kick her husband in the nuts again, but knew it wouldn’t make her feel any better. If doing it the first time hadn’t rid her of the urge to hit him, then it probably wouldn’t work a second or third time.

  Greg started for Derek, but Charlotte stepped between them. “Don’t, Greg. He’s not worth it,” she said.

  “You shit,” Greg spat, “You got your mistress pregnant before you divorced your wife? Less than a year after your son died? I knew that you were a dickhead, but I underestimated how low you could sink.”

  Derek sighed and tossed the bloody paper towels on the table. “I know you don’t understand, Greg. I’ve done things I regret, but it’s time for me to fix what I can.”

  “Why?” Greg asked. “Why did you marry Charlotte if you couldn’t love her? Especially since you knew how I felt.” His voice was tight with anger.

  Charlotte felt the beginnings of a headache stir at the base of her skull. All this back and forth was making her nerves scream.

  “I was jealous, Greg. I’ve always been jealous of you. My father thought you were such a great guy; a hard worker, smart, handsome. He constantly reminded me of all your accomplishments and asked me why I couldn’t be more like you. Even when we were friends, I still resented you.” He cleared his throat. “When I realized that Charlotte had no idea how you felt about her, I made my move. For once, I wanted to beat you. It was foolish and petty and I’m sorry.”

  Derek looked at Charlotte. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

  She stared at her husband. He sounded so sincere, but she was remembering the expression on his face when he first arrived. Charlotte was certain that Derek was telling them whatever it took to get himself out of hot water. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to give a damn. She just wanted the entire situation to be over. She wanted to be free of him and his manipulative ways. He was toxic and she wanted no part of him.