Only for You (Crave Book 3) Read online

  I unlocked the screen door and crossed to the side door leading to the house.

  J.J. didn't speak as I unlocked that door and went inside. He shut the door behind us and turned the lock.

  That small gesture seemed to emphasize the fact that we were now alone.

  I hadn't turned on the overhead light, so the only illumination came from the small fixture over the sink that I left on at night so I could see if I needed a drink or a midnight snack.

  J.J. hadn't moved from the door. He leaned back against it, his hands behind his back, and stared at me in the dim kitchen.

  I placed my clutch and keys on the kitchen table and curled my fingers around the back of one of the four chairs that surrounded it. And I waited. I kept my gaze on him and tried to seem relaxed even though my muscles were humming with energy and desire. I wasn't sure what my next move should be, so I would wait until he spoke.

  "It's, um, been a while since I've done anything like this," J.J. finally said.

  "I could say the same," I replied.

  Ha! The same? More like I'd never done anything like this.

  "You do still want me here, right?" he asked.

  I understood then that he was uncertain. Apparently, I'd missed some cue and he thought I'd changed my mind.

  I took two steps forward until I was in his personal space. My hand lifted and rested on the lapel of his suit, smoothing down a few inches of the fabric.

  "Yes, I do want you here," I stated. "Will you stay?"

  His answer was to catch hold of my wrist and use his grip on my arm to pull me even closer. When I was close enough to rest against the front of his body, he released my arm and used both hands to cup my face.

  "Nothing could make me leave except you asking me to."

  I smiled up at him and he returned it.

  "I haven't seen you smile like that in ten years," he said.

  Before I could ask what he meant, he kissed me again.

  This time there was no one else around, no potential audience or interruptions, so I didn't hold back.

  My arms twined around his neck and I pressed as deep into his body as I could. I wanted to meld myself to him, to feel every inch of him against me.

  J.J. groaned as our tongues touched and dueled, his hands sliding around my waist to my lower back and then lower to cup my backside through the layers of skirting on my dress.

  I couldn't resist touching him either. I didn't know what he wanted me to do, and I couldn't ask because I was too busy kissing him, so I did what I wanted to do.

  I ran my hands from his neck, over his chest, and beneath the suit jacket he wore. The dress shirt under it was thin and I could practically feel the searing heat of his skin through the material.

  His tie was missing. He must have removed it on the drive over, but that was a good thing. It was one less article of clothing in my way.

  I wanted to feel his skin against my fingers, to press my palms over his chest, and let the beat of his heart sink into my blood.

  My fingers were only a little clumsy as I unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. As the fabric parted, I ran my fingertips over the inside edges, touching his heated flesh.

  J.J. pulled back, his hands kneading my butt. "I want to see you."

  "You can't see me now?" I asked. From this distance, I could see the rapid pulse in his throat and realized his heart was racing just as quickly as mine was. Without thinking, I put my lips to that pulse and kissed a path down his neck to his collarbone.

  He smelled like soap, fresh and clean, and the cake he'd eaten at the reception.

  It made me hungry enough to sink my teeth lightly into his throat.

  "Oh, God," J.J. groaned, his head falling against the back door with a thunk. "We need to take this into the bedroom, Lee, or I won't be responsible for my actions.

  I lifted my head and looked up at him. "What actions?"

  His hands tightened on my rear end, pulling my hips into his, and I felt the hard ridge of his erection against my belly.

  Wow.

  "Let's go into the bedroom and I'll show you," he said.

  "Let me go and I'll take you there," I retorted.

  He smiled, just a little, and released me.

  After kicking off my shoes and nudging them to the side, I took his hand in mine and backed away, tugging him away from the back door. His smile grew as he followed me.

  "Afraid I'm going somewhere?" he asked.

  "Just making sure you go where I want you." I faced forward and kept moving toward the hall.

  He laughed and allowed me to lead him through the small, dark house to my bedroom. The light of the moon filtered through the windows, giving me just enough light that I didn't have to hit any switches on the way.

  The curtains were open in my room, allowing the moonlight to flood the space. My furniture was lined with silver and the very air seemed to glow.

  J.J. had said he wanted to see me, but there was something magical about the pale light that poured in through the window. I didn't want to break the spell by turning on the lamp.

  I paused by the bed and turned back to J.J. "This is where I want you."

  He stared down at me, his hand lifting to trace the line of my face from my temple to the curve of my jaw. "Then, this is where I want to be."

  When he reached toward the lamp, I stopped his hand with mine. "I like the moonlight."

  The jitter of nerves I felt during the drive home was shifting into another sensation now. I was restless and hot, but not afraid. I placed my opposite hand on J.J.'s chest and felt the solid thump of his heart against my palm.

  "Okay," he whispered.

  I released his hand so I could finish unbuttoning his shirt. He took the hint and shrugged out of his suit jacket. A few seconds later, his shirt followed, hitting the floor with a whisper.

  As I studied his bare torso, I couldn't stop my hands from touching his skin. He was still leanly muscled, as he had been in high school, but his shoulders and upper body were a bit broader, as though he had grown into himself.

  He shivered when my fingertips brushed over his nipples and took my hands in his.

  "I think it's my turn."

  My throat turned dry when I saw the expression on his face. He looked as hungry as I felt.

  He put my hands on his waist, pressing them in slightly. I understood the request even though he didn't voice it. He wanted me to keep my hands there.

  My fingers flexed against his flesh when he lifted his hands to my shoulders. I'd always loved his hands. They were long-fingered and wide-palmed and handled a basketball with dexterity and skill.

  Even with his palms cupping the top of my shoulders, his thumbs brushed the space between my collarbones. He traced the line of each one, skimming over the halter straps of my dress.

  It was my turn to shiver.

  I looked up at him, eager and impatient for what came next.

  He seemed to read my mind because he smirked and smoothed his hands up and over my shoulders to the back of my neck. J.J. laughed a little as he fought with the knot that held up the straps of the dress.

  "You weren't taking any chances, were you?" he asked.

  I had to laugh as well and shook my head. "You knew my brothers growing up. All the pranks they pulled on me made me beyond cautious."

  After a couple more seconds, J.J. shook his head. "You're going to have to turn around."

  Now, we were both laughing, breathless and quiet. I didn't know why we were whispering but it seemed to suit the dream-like quality of the moment.

  I turned and made sure my back faced the bare window so the moonlight illuminated the knot. Able to see the tightly wound fabric, J.J. made quick work of the fastening and the straps fluttered down to my sides.

  I shuddered as the tips of his fingers traced from my hairline, over the back of my neck, and down my spine to the zipper of the dress.

  The metal teeth hissed as he lowered the tab and the dress fell to my hips, revealing t
he strapless bra I wore beneath.

  His hand continued its downward path and he pushed the garment over the curve of my hips. The dress hit the floor next to his shirt, leaving me in nothing but my underwear.

  This was the moment my nerves came back with a vengeance.

  Sure, I'd worn bathing suits that covered little more than my underwear. Several times in front of J.J. himself.

  But this was different.

  This was before. Before he would strip me bare. Before he would put his mouth and hands on my body. Before he would be inside me.

  I wanted all those things. I wanted them badly.

  But I was frozen inside, unsure and out of my depth.

  Somehow, J.J. sensed my hesitation and turned me to face him again. "Hey, why do you look scared?"

  I swallowed hard. "I'm not scared, exactly. Just...a little nervous." My eyes flicked up to his. "Been a while, remember?"

  Like twenty-five years to never.

  "We can stop now or—"

  I shook my head. "No, I don't want to stop. I just—" I inhaled and confessed. "I don't know what you like, how you like to be touched."

  His face was arresting. He stared down at me as though he'd never seen me before.

  "Are you worried I won't like something you do?" he asked, his hands coming to my waist to pull me closer.

  I nodded.

  "Would it make you feel better to know that I'm worried about the same thing?"

  I leaned into him then, gasping when my skin met his. As overheated as I felt, his flesh was hotter, firmer. "You are? Why? I've liked everything so far."

  Again, my face was so close to the pulse in his throat that I couldn't resist putting my mouth against it.

  J.J. chuckled. "Then, you can assume I feel the same. How about we make a deal? If either of us does something that doesn't feel good, then we redirect. Show me where you want me to go. Where you want me to touch you. And I'll do the same."

  "Okay," I whispered against his skin.

  My nerves settled and I focused on the way he felt against me, the scent and heat of his skin.

  I wanted to remember this moment, this night, for the rest of my life.

  Since he'd essentially given me free rein, I traced the line of his belt from the sides of his waist to the buckle. My fingers weren't trembling as much when I slipped the leather free and opened the belt.

  J.J. seemed to take that as his invitation to touch me as well. His hands cupped my breasts over my bra and I gasped as he ran his thumbs over my nipples.

  This time, my fingers fumbled as I unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper, but I had an excuse. The way he gently kneaded my breasts was incredibly distracting...and arousing.

  I hesitated once his pants were undone. I wanted to reach inside and find that intriguing hard length but I was still somewhat shy.

  J.J. took that moment to slide his hands around my back and unhook my bra. It fell from my body and landed on top of the growing pile of clothes.

  This time, when his hands returned to my breasts, his palms met my bare skin. I shivered violently at the intense sensation.

  Dear God, I wasn't sure I could stand it.

  "Redirect?" he asked.

  My brain couldn't process his question at first, but when his hands stopped moving, I released my death grip on the waistband of his pants and put my palms over his.

  "Don't stop," I whispered.

  His thumbs moved over my bare nipples and I shivered again, but this time, he smiled.

  Feeling bolder, I reached out and shoved his pants down his thighs.

  I wasn't sure how it happened, but we managed to get tangled up in his pants when we worked together to remove them. We teetered next to the bed for a moment before crashing down onto the mattress in a mass of limbs and suit pants. J.J. landed on top of me and I released a laughing yelp as we collided.

  I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw a flush creep along his cheeks.

  "Um," his voice cracked and he stopped to clear his throat. "I did mention it's been a while, right?"

  I laughed again and pulled his head down toward mine.

  I had a lot of expectations when it came to this moment, but laughter hadn't been one of them.

  When our mouths met, when his weight lowered fully onto my body, I wondered if this was what laughter tasted like. The embarrassment had faded completely when J.J. raised his head again and set to work untying the knot of his pants and our legs.

  After a few moments of wrestling and muttered swear words, we were both free and wearing only our underwear. Well, I was.

  J.J. had taken the time to remove his when he stripped off his cursed pants and his socks.

  I wanted to stare at him, to study his body, but he knelt over me and tugged my underwear from my body.

  When he stretched back over me, we were both naked. His skin slid along mine, hot and smooth, but covered with a fine dusting of hair on his chest and thighs, and I wasn't sure I could handle the sensations. I'd never been skin-to-skin with a man like this before and it was amazing. Fantastic. Bliss.

  I briefly wondered if it was possible for the human brain to explode from an overload of pleasure, but my thoughts were aborted when J.J. lowered his mouth to my breasts.

  His lips closed around one of my nipples and he sucked. A strangled sound escaped my throat and I arched into him, gripping his hips with my thighs as hard as I could.

  When he lifted his head, I realized I was clutching handfuls of his hair so tightly it had to hurt.

  I relaxed my fingers. "I didn't scalp you, did I?"

  His only answer was to smile and repeat the action on my other nipple.

  J.J. cupped my breasts, lavishing them with kisses and licks, teasing nips and sucks, until I was writhing beneath him. Just when I thought I couldn't take it any longer, he stopped, one of his hands moving from my breasts to between my legs. I could feel the echoes of my heartbeat in my clit and my skin tingled fiercely, as though electricity was gathering before a shock.

  He slipped a finger down over my clit and straight inside of me. My hips bucked and I realized that I was incredibly wet.

  J.J. leaned over and tugged my nipple with his mouth as he slipped another finger inside of me, then another.

  It felt good. So good.

  But it wasn't enough.

  I used my grip on his hair to tug lightly and whispered, "Redirect."

  J.J. froze and lifted his head. "Am I hurting you?"

  "No, but there's something I want to do."

  He grinned and removed his hand, rolling onto his back without resistance when I pushed on his shoulders. I straddled him and leaned over to open the nightstand. I ripped open the box of condoms and tore a packet off the end.

  Since I believed in doing my research, I'd watched several videos on the proper application of a condom, but my hands were unsteady and I couldn't even open the packet.

  J.J. took it from me, ripped it open, and pulled out the latex ring. He offered it to me, but I shook my head.

  "I think you'd better do it because I can't concentrate."

  He chuckled and I watched with avid eyes as he lowered the condom to the tip of his erection and rolled it down his length.

  God, that was sexy.

  I shifted forward, straddling his hips and lowered myself down, trapping his erection between our bodies.

  I leaned down and kissed him again as I rocked on him. He gripped my hips, pressing me harder against him.

  Eventually, I rose up and reached between us, positioning him. J.J. looked up at me, his eyes glittering in the moonlight.

  Being in control calmed my nervousness even more as I caught my lip between my teeth and sank down.

  Despite using the toys I'd purchased a couple of years ago, nothing could have prepared me for how J.J. felt inside me.

  I stopped halfway down and lifted back up, letting my body adjust to his girth. He was a little wider than I was accustomed to and I needed a bit more time.

/>   He didn't rush me as I slowly took him inside again, his hands massaged my hips and butt but he didn't pull me down or force me to take him. He touched me and whispered things that I didn't quite hear over the roaring of blood in my ears.

  Finally, finally, I took him all, my butt meeting his thighs. The muscles in my vagina clenched and I realized that there was no pain, just...fullness.

  A fullness that stoked the fire inside me.

  "Lee."

  At the sound of my name, I looked down at J.J. and saw the tight line of his jaw.

  "I never imagined that it would feel like this." I realized how that sounded and tacked on, "With you."

  J.J. groaned low in his throat. "I did."

  My brows lowered because I didn't understand what he meant by that, but I was distracted by his hand as it moved between my thighs and his thumb brushed my clit. My vagina tightened again and I inhaled sharply.

  "Do that again," I whispered, shifting my hips against him experimentally.

  His thumb rolled my clit over and over as I rocked against him, a familiar tension building within me.

  Amazement rushed through me. I was about to experience my first orgasm with another person. Because of another person.

  My movements slowed as the tension built into something I didn't recognize. I knew it would be gargantuan, overwhelming, and I wasn't sure I wouldn't shatter into nothing but fragments of myself.

  But J.J. wouldn't let me stop. He pressed his thumb harder into me, rolling faster, and I couldn't stop the wave that crashed over me.

  I gasped as the tension broke. My hips jerked and my head fell back. "Jay!"

  His hands clutched both of my hips, urging me to move up and down in a quick rhythm. The change in his thrusts made stars dance before my eyes and my climax swelled further.

  I heard him groan deep in his throat. The desperate grasp of his fingers eased and his straining muscles relaxed.

  We came together. During my first time.

  I fell forward on top of him and laid my head on the pillow next to his. We were both breathing hard and damp with sweat.

  "That was..." I had no words so I let the sentence trail off.

  J.J. skimmed his hand down my spine to the top of my buttocks. "Amazing. Mind-blowing. Better than I could have dreamed."