Wild for You (Crave Book 2) Page 15

  "You want the brisket as is or on a bun?" he asked when I handed him the plates.

  Oh, man. There was nothing I liked better than a barbeque brisket sandwich.

  "On a bun."

  He grinned at me and made my sandwich. Then, he laughed when I took the plate from him and pried the top off the sandwich so I could pile some coleslaw on top of the meat. If he'd had fries, I would have added a few on it, too.

  "Are you a Yankee?" he asked, his tone teasing.

  "Nope, but the best barbeque sandwich I've ever had was loaded with slaw and fries, so I always try to recreate it whenever possible."

  "I'll be sure to get the cheddar fries next time then."

  "They have cheddar fries?" I asked, lifting my head to look at him.

  Ben chuckled again. "Yeah, but I never get them because they go straight to my gut."

  They'd go straight to my ass, but if they were made right, they were more than worth it.

  It was probably a good thing I wasn't a decent cook because I'd weigh six hundred pounds. I had no willpower when it came to food.

  "You'd look hot with a gut," I said.

  He laughed again but I was being completely honest. Benjamin Murphy would be hot even if he didn't have the muscles and was balding. He had an innate magnetism that drew women's eyes to him. The way he moved, the way he looked at you, it was hypnotic and addictive. Though his toned body didn't hurt, what made him sexy went so much deeper.

  I smooshed the top back on my sandwich and dished out some potato salad and macaroni and cheese on my plate.

  "Bar or couch?" he asked.

  If we sat at the bar, we'd be side-by-side, our hips and elbows brushing as we ate. At least on the couch, I could curl up in the opposite corner.

  "Couch."

  Ben grinned. "I should have known."

  He needed to stop smiling at me like I was the best thing he'd ever seen.

  "Hurry up," I said. "I'm starving."

  He shook his head. "Go sit and eat. I'll be right there."

  I was going to need a lot more than two hard ciders to get through tonight without doing something stupid. Then again, coming over here was probably the stupidest thing I could have done.

  I just hoped I could get out of here tonight without making it worse.

  Of course it was worse. A lot worse.

  After we ate, I'd stretched out on one side of Ben's huge couch, thinking I had plenty of room. When he came back from putting the food away, he plopped down right next to me and asked me to share the blanket because he was cold.

  This meant that his body touched mine from shoulder to hip and, holy mother of God, every nerve ending in my body stood at attention.

  And he didn't feel cold at all. In fact, he generated heat like a furnace.

  The movie we were watching didn't help cool me down either. Especially when the main couple finally got down in the bedroom.

  The scene was incredibly erotic and my heart started beating faster. I licked my lips and tried not to pant. The man was built a lot like Ben, with dark hair, and filmed from behind it could have been him.

  Ben's body grew tight next to mine and I swear he burned hotter. He shifted next to me and I looked over.

  Our eyes locked, the tension so thick that it was nearly visible. It had been building for hours. Days. Fuck, for weeks. Hell, at the moment, it could have been an eternity. All this time apart didn't stop me from wanting him.

  I don't know who moved first but somehow I was straddling his lap and our lips crashed together. His hands grasped my shirt and pulled it roughly from my body. My glasses flew off with the shirt, but I didn't care. I was close enough to Ben to see everything I wanted to see.

  Since he'd stripped my shirt off, I thought it was only fair I return the favor. My fingers touched the hem, but he beat me to it. He reached back and grasped a handful of fabric behind his neck, pulling the tee over his head.

  My hands dove into his hair so I could direct his mouth back to mine but he buried his face in my breasts, nipping and sucking at the skin revealed by my bra. His fingers released the clasp and he stripped it off my body.

  His lips were ravenous, as though he wanted to eat me alive. Ben sucked my nipple deep into his mouth, the edge of his teeth digging into my flesh just enough for me to feel them.

  Fingers gripped my hips hard, grinding me down onto his hard cock. I gasped and clutched at him. My head fell back as he continued to ravage my breasts.

  His lips released my nipple and he rose from the couch with me in his arms. I grabbed at him again, this time in shock because I wasn't huge, but I wasn't a lightweight either. I had hips and boobs and, yes, a little belly.

  But Ben carried me into the bedroom without even breathing hard. When he dropped me on the bed, I didn't have time to move before his hands were on the waistband of my jeans. In seconds, I was completely naked.

  I reached for him, but he shoved my thighs apart and buried his face between them.

  I cried out as he pressed my legs wide open and used his mouth to torture me. My hips bucked under the intense sensations, but he pinned me to the bed. In mere moments, the orgasm swamped me, sucking the air from my lungs. Black dots danced before my eyes.

  I was still gasping for breath and shuddering when he straightened. Ben flipped me over on my belly and dragged me to the edge of the bed. The bed was tall and my toes barely brushed the ground. When I shifted, Ben's hand landed on my ass.

  "Stay still."

  It was the first time a man had ever spanked me during sex and I was surprised at the intense pleasure in my response.

  The nightstand drawer crashed open and I heard the foil packet tear. A few seconds later, Ben reached between my legs, sliding a finger deep inside me.

  I sucked in a sharp breath and arched into his touch. His palm smacked my ass again. Not hard enough to truly hurt, but there was definitely a bit of a sting.

  "Be. Still," he ordered.

  His finger disappeared and his erection replaced it. In this position, my legs were closer together and it was a tighter fit. I panted as he tried to work his dick deeper inside of me. Then, he stopped and I heard a bottle open. I glanced back and saw the small container of lube in his hand. Hm, good idea.

  I was slick and wet, which helped a little, but it was still a tight verging on uncomfortable fit.

  Once he slicked the lubricant over his length, he guided his cock to my entrance and slid deep inside my body with a single thrust. I couldn't hold my head up any longer and turned so that my forehead rested on the mattress, groaning at the sensation. Ben grasped my hips and picked up a hard, steady rhythm. My nipples were sensitive from my first orgasm and brushed against the soft blanket that covered the bed.

  "Fuck, you feel good," he rasped. Ben leaned over me, his fists resting on the mattress by my ribs. The new position changed the angle of his thrusts, making each one feel deeper and harder.

  My body tightened as he picked up speed, but I hovered on the edge of another climax, unable to go over.

  I twisted slightly, slipping my hand down between my belly and the bed. I arched my back as my finger hit my clit. Ben's hand landed on my ass again and I hissed as the contact took me over the edge.

  I cried out into the blanket and every muscle in my body locked down. Ben groaned, his hands gripping my hips harder, and crashed into me one last time.

  My vaginal muscles pulsed around him, aftershocks of my orgasm. He made a low sound in his throat and twitched inside me.

  The only sound in the room was our labored breathing. When my body stopped shuddering, Ben pulled out of me, slow and easy.

  I took a shaky breath as he left me and let my body remain draped over the side of the mattress. My legs were boneless and too weak for me to shove myself onto the bed fully.

  I heard Ben go into the bathroom and toss the condom in the trash. Water ran for a few minutes then he returned and stood behind me in silence for a few seconds.

  His fingers traced li
nes over my buttocks. "Your ass is bright pink. Did I hurt you?"

  "No," I tried to say but the word refused to come out. I cleared my throat.

  He was quiet again for a moment. "Are you okay?"

  There was hesitation in his voice, a note I'd never heard from him before. Almost like guilt.

  I managed to lift my head and twist around to look at him. "Definitely."

  His hazel eyes studied me, searching for something. "I'm not usually so, uh, rough," he admitted. "Especially since we haven't really talked about it."

  "Consider this our conversation and me giving you the thumbs up," I said, letting my cheek rest on my arm as I looked at him. "It was intense. In a good way," I clarified.

  Ben didn't smile. His piercing eyes moved over my face but gave nothing away about his inner thoughts.

  "Are you okay?" I asked. "You seem almost—" I paused, looking for the right word.

  His expression cleared. "I'm fine. Just worried that I hurt you and you're afraid to tell me the truth."

  "Have I ever struck you as someone who wouldn't be anything but honest with you about what I thought?"

  He shook his head and finally moved toward the bed. Ben curled his fingers around my hips and lifted my lower body fully onto the bed. I grunted as he shifted me. As soon as he sprawled out beside me, Ben hooked an arm around me and dragged me closer.

  "Well, this friends thing is working out great," I mumbled. "The second time we're alone together we turn into a pair of animals."

  Ben chuckled. His fingers tangled in my hair, lifting it off my neck and shoulders and stroking the length. I nuzzled closer.

  "So what's your solution?" he asked.

  I placed my hand on his chest and lifted my head to rest my chin on the back of it. "I don't have one. Any suggestions?"

  Ben put his other hand behind his head, cocking his arm out to the side. "Why don't we just stick to our original arrangement? You told Cam we're friends and we are. We're just enjoying each other in more than one way."

  I liked the sound of that. Enjoying each other. We weren't college kids hooking up. We were adults making a decision to stick to a casual relationship. I'd tried to make this something meaningless and it wasn't exactly that. Hooking up implied scratching an itch. A casual relationship meant no real expectations for a future but still liking each other. Right?

  "Because we have no self-control."

  The corner of Ben's mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Speak for yourself. I was perfectly in control."

  I couldn't stop the quiet laugh that left me. "If you say so."

  "Don't worry. I'll give you another demonstration later," he said. His voice was dark and his eyes were hot.

  I couldn't help myself. I shivered.

  Then, I pinched his nipple when he laughed at me.

  15

  My worries about Cam wanting to discuss how much time I was spending with Ben turned out to be unfounded. Mostly because she was never home. She was spending nearly every spare minute with Brody. While I was happy for her, I was also worried. She was in deep. It was obvious whenever she talked about him or whenever she was around him. It was a side of her I'd never seen before.

  He was in just as deep with her. He looked at her like she was the center of the universe, the answer to every question he'd ever had.

  Every time I was around them, I had to suppress the yearning for someone to look at me with that light in their eyes. Dammit, their ooey-gooeyness was rubbing off on me if I was thinking about things like that.

  Because Cam was gone so often, I ended up bunking with Ben most nights. The first time, it was an accident. He'd exhausted me so thoroughly that I'd passed out on his bed for the entire night. The next morning, I woke up when he was getting dressed for his five a.m. workout.

  But I'd played possum, waiting until he disappeared into his home gym before I snuck into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. Usually, I would have made a fast, semi-stealthy exit, but Ben wasn't a one-nighter. He was my friend and I wouldn't do that to a friend.

  At least that's what I told myself.

  So, wearing nothing but one of his tees, I carried my coffee down the hall to the spare room where his workout equipment was and I watched as he lifted, pumped, stretched, or whatever it was all called.

  I realized I wouldn't mind waking up at five in the morning for a workout if it meant I was watching Ben do this. From the doorway while drinking a cup of coffee.

  Before he saw me, I wandered back into the bedroom and climbed back into bed. The sheets smelled like him. His soap was simple Irish Spring, but somehow the scent changed on his skin, became deeper. Addictive.

  I wallowed in his soft, smooth sheets and the best mattress I'd ever experienced until he walked in, sweaty and shirtless, wiping his chest with his tank top.

  "Good workout?" I asked.

  He paused in the dim bedroom, looking toward the bed. I flipped on the lamp.

  "Same as always," he replied. "Did I wake you?"

  I shrugged one shoulder. "I felt you get out of bed."

  "Want to take a shower with me?"

  Like any woman with half a brain, I'd said yes and ever since that morning, I'd started most days that way. Strangely, it never felt awkward. We had a rhythm together, both in bed and out. Sort of like the rhythm I had with Cam.

  Which cracked me up. My first best friend had somehow led me to my second best friend.

  Cheesy, I know, but it was true. In a short amount of time, Ben had somehow become the only other true friend I had. He never judged and he never pitied.

  And considering how similar our childhoods were, he understood me a lot better than anyone besides Cam ever had.

  He even tried to teach me how to cook. We started with a simple stir-fry. It was a lot of chopping, which I got bored with, so I drank iced tea while watching Ben chop the veggies. Then, I got distracted by how sexy he looked in the kitchen and we ended up making out for so long that the meat and veggies burned.

  Thank God for frozen cauliflower pizza.

  I should have known it was too good to be true. We spent all our free time together and it had to end sometime.

  Unfortunately, the ending turned out to be a fucking mess.

  My eight weeks of leave were almost up, but I didn't mention it to Ben because I fully intended to work remotely until I absolutely had to go into the office. I refused to think too hard about what would happen next. I was still enjoying Ben's company, so why mess with a good thing?

  Unfortunately, it all started going downhill when I pulled my head out of my ass. Yes, I was in denial. I didn't realize it until much later, but I was.

  I woke up one Saturday morning, nearly eight weeks to the day since my first time with him, to Ben's touch. His hands wandered over my body. Not in a sexual way, but as if he wanted to memorize every curve and angle, the bones and the softness.

  I stretched under his caress and shifted my head from where it rested on his shoulder so that I could see his face.

  "Feeling me up while I sleep, huh?"

  He smiled at me, a slow, lazy smile that brightened his hazel eyes. He looked younger when he smiled like that.

  Then, he kissed me. It was as lazy as his smile, as soft as his touch, and full of tenderness and something else. It was nearly chaste, but I felt it deep in my chest.

  My senses awakened. The morning light was pearlescent, gilding Ben's body and casting a golden tint to his flesh. The scent of his skin filled my head. He rolled over on top of me, settling between my thighs.

  We were both already naked and I reveled in the feel of his body against mine—the vaguely coarse feeling of his chest hair against my nipples, the heat that emanated from him, and the steady thump of his heart beneath my palms as I touched him.

  I wanted him to touch me, everywhere, and I wanted to do the same to him, but there was no desperation. Only the desire to fully experience every part of him.

  My hands wandered lower to curl around his erection. He w
as hard and ready in my palm as I stroked him. I wanted him inside me, moving just as slow and deep as the motion of my hand on him.

  He broke the kiss and reached into the nightstand for a condom. I took it from him when he opened the packet, sheathing him.

  And he gave me what I wanted.

  Our faces were only inches apart as he slid inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath as he entered me fully. I kissed him, needing to feel connected in every way possible.

  Ben moved, his thrusts measured. His lips moved from mine to my neck and down to my nipples. I arched into his mouth and moaned.

  I threaded my fingers through his hair and tugged him up, bringing his mouth back to mine.

  Though I wanted it to last for hours, my body grew tighter and my breath trembled.

  "That's it," Ben whispered against my lips. "Come for me."

  He picked up the pace, going just a little deeper and a little harder, and I couldn't hold back anymore.

  I gasped and kissed him again as I came. His body tensed against mine, his steady rhythm fracturing as I pulled him over the edge with me.

  Ben pulled back and locked gazes with me. I couldn't look away. I was trapped between the ecstasy he brought my body and the emotions rushing through me. I couldn't escape either.

  I was falling in love with him. I couldn't ignore it or deny it any longer. For the first time in my life, I could imagine forever with someone. And it was terrifying.

  I couldn't do this, couldn't leave myself open for the hurt that would inevitably follow. When it came to heartbreak, I had too much bad karma on my soul. I'd broken hearts and crushed feelings. Sure, I hadn't meant to, but that didn't change the fact that I had done it.

  I didn't deserve to fall in love, and it would only be a matter of time before it was my turn to get my heart smashed.

  I couldn't do it. I'd seen the pain on Brian's face, knew how much pain I'd caused him, and I couldn't face experiencing that myself.

  As I came down from the climax, I kissed Ben one last time.

  I had to end it.

  I talked myself out of leaving right away. I spent the day with him—eating, touching, just being together. I was making memories. I guess I had a masochistic streak because every time I thought that I should just stop this and say something, I would talk myself out of it.