Seasons of Sorrow Read online

  Her desperate remark must have hit a nerve because Greg flinched. Charlotte immediately felt horrible as she watched his face close down.

  She couldn’t leave it like that. “Greg, I’m sorry. I didn’t say that well. I just mean that I can’t lose you. If I lost your friendship, I don’t know if I could make it without going insane. You and Brandy are the only ones who have kept me from slitting my wrists this year. I am truly afraid that if we try to take things into a different level, I will lose you.”

  With each word she spoke, the light returned to Greg’s eyes. When she was through, her chest was heaving with the emotions she tried to hold back. If she let go, she would be sobbing in the middle of the restaurant. He leaned forward and gently wrapped his fingers around her hand, cradling her palm against his.

  The contact both comforted her and made the nerve endings in her arm shimmer with awareness, as though she were touching something with a mild electric current running through it.

  “It’s okay, Char. I don’t want to lose you either. Right now, you’re in a place where it is difficult for you to trust anyone, but you can trust me when I say that I will not hurt you or leave you. What I feel for you is real and, if I were going to leave, I would have done it years ago.”

  Charlotte nodded and took a deep breath. Greg released her hand as the waiter brought out their food.

  At first, she only picked at her chicken, but Greg drew her attention when he sighed and put down his fork.

  “Charlotte, we’re just having dinner. I want to spend the evening with you, talking like we usually do. Is that what you want too?” he asked.

  She nodded hesitantly.

  “Then let’s just talk. Forget about the rest of it and just be my friend tonight.”

  She nodded again and took a bite of her chicken, searching for something to say, then she remembered she hadn’t told him where she had been earlier.

  “Did I tell you where I went today?” she asked.

  When he shook his head, she began to tell him about her trip to the FBI field office in Dallas. His eyes hardened when she told him why she had gone there, but soon he was smiling a little as she described the labyrinth Agent Bray had led her through.

  “I would never get any work done,” she joked. “I would spend half the day just trying to find my office!”

  After she finished her story, the conversation flowed more easily. They finished their dinner and drinks as the restaurant went from busy to packed. Charlotte was surprised so many people were out for dinner on a Tuesday, but it soon became so loud that they could barely talk without yelling.

  “I think it’s time to go,” Greg said loudly.

  Charlotte nodded her agreement. She started to reach into her purse for her wallet.

  “Don’t even think about it, Charlie,” Greg said forcefully.

  She sighed and put her purse down. Greg signaled Raoul and paid the tab. He stood and pulled her chair back so she could stand. They walked out of the restaurant together. The heat of the day had sunk into the pavement and radiated from the dark surface. Immediately, Charlotte started sweating.

  “Where’s your car?” Greg asked.

  Charlotte pointed to the parking lot around the corner from Gloria’s.

  “I’ll walk you,” he said.

  She didn’t bother to argue because she knew it would be useless. Greg always wanted to be sure she got to her car safely, something Derek never did when they were together. He always treated her as though she could take care of herself. Greg never acted as though she were a child, but he was solicitous. He made sure to help her into and out of her chair. He opened doors for her. And he always walked her to her car whenever they went out together.

  Brandy called it old-fashioned chivalry, and Charlotte supposed that it was true. She knew it drove Brandy nuts because her friend was independent from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. But Charlotte appreciated it when a man tried to take care of her. It made her feel special, cherished.

  They walked to her car in silence and she used her remote to unlock the doors as they approached the driver’s side. She opened the door and tossed her purse in the passenger seat. Turning around, she faced Greg again.

  “I’m glad we did this. I need to get out of that house more often,” she said.

  Greg was standing close, looking down at her, his eyes watchful. “Me too. I’ve missed spending time with you.”

  Charlotte smiled slightly. “Want to do something later this week? Maybe you, me, and Brandy?”

  He smiled back and suddenly seemed much closer. “That sounds great. Maybe bowling or pool?”

  She rolled her eyes. He always wanted to do things that she never would choose to do on her own. And she always enjoyed them. “Fine.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure out which.”

  She nodded. “I’ll call Brandy and see when she’s free.”

  Suddenly, Charlotte didn’t just think that Greg was closer, he was closer. He stood over her, his body near enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his skin. Her breath caught in her chest. His head dipped down and she couldn’t decide if she wanted to stop him or raise up on her toes so that their lips met more quickly. Instead, she stood stock still as his lips touched her cheek lightly near the corner of her mouth.

  “Night, Charlotte.”

  “Good night, Greg. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she said as she climbed into the driver’s seat, her legs shaking.

  As she backed out of the parking space and drove away, she saw that he stood in the middle of parking lot and watched her car until she was out of sight. Deep inside she couldn’t decide if she was pleased or disappointed that he hadn’t kissed her. For all her talk that she wasn’t ready for more than friendship, Charlotte felt that kiss on her cheek the entire drive home.

  After she pulled into her garage, Charlotte let her head fall forward into the steering wheel. There was one upside to this whole mess. While she was so confused and confounded by Greg and the things he made her feel, she wouldn’t be worrying about Derek’s betrayal. She only hoped she could figure out what to do before it was too late and they both got hurt.

  Part Four

  Fall

  No spring nor summer’s beauty hath such grace

  As I have seen in one Autumnal face….

  ~John Donne~

  Chapter Nineteen

  September, Present Day

  It had been two months since that dinner with Greg. The outing they planned had never happened. Just a few days after their dinner, Greg was called away on business. With Derek gone, he was essentially running the company alone.

  One of his accounts was proving to be difficult and all the trips Derek usually handled now fell to him. He had barely been home a total of two weeks in the last two months. He hated all the traveling, but had no other choice. Because of all the money Derek had stolen, he had to maintain as many accounts as possible to keep the company going. When Charlotte asked if he planned to hire someone to help manage the company, he explained that he had a candidate in mind, but he would need training first. That meant the next few months would be extremely hectic for him.

  What amazed Charlotte was that he made a point to text or call her while he was away. When he was home, he also tried to meet her for dinner or drinks. She received more attention from Greg in three months than she did from Derek the last year of their marriage. They communicated in some way every day, even more than the years when she was with her husband.

  Charlotte realized that he was courting her. He wasn’t pursuing her aggressively or wooing her with sweet nothings and gifts. Instead, Greg was building on the foundation they already established; their friendship. They still talked about the same things and the easy companionship was there, but there was an underlying hint of the attraction. Often, he would do or say something that made Charlotte aware of his desires for more from her.

  She wished she could say it upset her, but it didn’t. After the las
t few years of her marriage, it felt wonderful to know that a man wanted her, desired her. The guilt began to fade as well. Charlotte understood that, whether she liked it or not, her life was going on. While she missed Adam every single day and with every fiber of her being, she still found some happiness in her time with Greg. He was like a balm for her broken soul.

  Charlotte heard nothing else from Derek, but her attorney, Nora, was hard at work trying to obtain her divorce. Since Derek filed papers before he disappeared and he had left their residence, Nora had to file papers on Charlotte’s behalf, stating that Derek had abandoned her.

  Since it had been nearly a year since Derek left, Nora assured Charlotte that it wouldn’t be too difficult to obtain a divorce in absentia. It would just take time. Charlotte hated it, but knew she had no other options.

  Now, it was a Saturday and Greg was supposed to be home this weekend. She and Greg had finally made plans to meet Brandy to play pool that evening. Charlotte was looking forward to it.

  During Greg’s last visit home, he had kissed her. It had been three weeks ago. He had come over for dinner and movies, something they had done all the time in college. After a delicious meal of spaghetti with homemade meatballs, they settled on the couch to watch a murder mystery marathon.

  They curled up in her deep sofa, sitting close. Greg even put his arm around her.

  At first, Charlotte had trouble relaxing and focusing on the movie, but Greg began to gently rub her arm with his hand and make his typical snarky comments about the transparency of the plot. Within fifteen minutes, she leaned against him and laughed as he continued his commentary.

  The next movie she chose was one he had already seen.

  “We can watch something else,” she said.

  Greg shook his head. “Nah. It’s a good movie, I don’t mind watching it again. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

  Just a few minutes after the opening credits rolled, Greg began his usual commentary. It always drove Brandy nuts, but Charlotte usually found it amusing. Unfortunately, he decided to give her details about the plot before each scene occurred.

  After shushing him twice and elbowing him once, Charlotte turned and snapped, “Will you please shut up? If I wanted you to recite the movie for me, then I would have asked for the highlights before I pressed play!”

  Greg just laughed at her. Not five minutes later, he started again. Finally, Charlotte had enough and she sat up. She got up on her knees and turned slightly. She slapped her hand over his mouth to silence him.

  They were both laughing as she kept her hand over his mouth so she could watch the movie in peace. After a few moments, she realized he wasn’t laughing any more and looked over at him.

  His eyes were hot, the grey of his iris was so bright it was almost silver. Charlotte sucked in a sharp breath. Beneath her hand, his mouth opened and she felt the hot swipe of his tongue against her palm. It surprised her so much that she pulled her hand away, the skin of her palm still burning.

  Their faces were just inches apart. Charlotte felt as though she couldn’t breathe as Greg’s eyes dropped down to her mouth. Since he kissed her cheek that night outside of Gloria’s, Charlotte replayed that moment in her mind over and over. The New Year’s kiss they shared all those years ago also stayed in her mind. At the time, she thought those crazy emotions she was feeling were one-sided. Since Greg admitted his feelings, that kiss took on new meaning.

  Now, they were on her couch, bodies touching from shoulder to waist, and Greg was staring at her mouth as though he wanted to devour her. Charlotte parted her lips but they were dry. Her tongue darted out and swept across her bottom lip. Greg’s eyes tracked the movement.

  He leaned forward enough so that their mouths were almost touching. Charlotte could practically taste him. She sat frozen. When she didn’t move away, Greg eased forward that last centimeter until their mouths fused. He tasted of the cola and candy they had been consuming while they watched the movies. His lips were firm and coaxing, asking for her to respond rather than demanding it.

  Unable to resist, Charlotte opened her mouth and his tongue slid inside. She melted against him and felt, rather than heard, the groan that vibrated through his chest. The kiss seemed to stretch out for hours.

  A sudden, loud burst of gunfire from the television startled her and she pulled back slightly. Her right arm was wrapped around Greg’s neck and her fingers fisted in the short strands of his hair. Her left arm was wedged between the couch and his waist. Sometime during the kiss, she had moved to his lap. Charlotte wasn’t sure if it was her doing or Greg’s, but her ass rested against his thighs and her breasts were pressed to his chest.

  When she pulled away, Charlotte felt the ridge of Greg’s erection against her hip and her entire body felt as though it were about to go up in flames. She shuddered against him. Greg’s eyes were still the color of molten silver and his hand cupped her chin. His thumb trailed against her bottom lip before it slid between her teeth to touch her tongue.

  Without thinking, her lips closed around his thumb, suckling gently as he slowly slid it out of her mouth. His eyes never left the sight of his thumb emerging from her lips.

  “Jesus, Char,” he whispered.

  This time, when he leaned forward to kiss her again, reality crashed down on Charlotte and she pulled away.

  “I can’t, Greg,” she said softly.

  He stopped and blinked before he sat back slightly to allow her to slide off his lap. Charlotte smoothed her hands over her hair, sure it was a mess from their activities on her couch.

  “I’m sorry,” they said in unison.

  Charlotte forced a small smile. Greg gestured for her to speak first.

  “I’m sorry, Greg. Things were just moving a little too fast.”

  His head tilted. “Are you upset with me?” he asked.

  She shook her head.

  “Then why don’t you want me to kiss you?” he asked.

  Charlotte hesitated. “It’s not that I didn’t want you to kiss me…” she trailed off. “Things just got intense very quickly and it scared me a little.”

  He lifted a hand and cupped the back of her neck gently. “I scare you?”

  She shook her head. Somehow she was not doing a very good job of explaining this. “You don’t scare me. It’s just, well, the way you make me feel is,” she stopped and swallowed, trying to find the right word, “overwhelming. I needed to slow down a bit.”

  “We can go as slowly as you like, Charlotte,” Greg said, squeezing the nape of her neck. He smirked slightly at her. “Still think you can’t be anything but my friend?” he asked.

  Knowing he was just yanking her chain, she picked up a throw pillow and smacked him with it. “Don’t gloat,” she snapped. “It’s unattractive.”

  “Maybe on other men, but I think you like it when I do it.”

  She rolled her eyes and scooted away from him a little. “Whatever.”

  Greg threw an arm around her shoulder, this time companionably, and they focused on the movie.

  After a few minutes, Charlotte realized that she had no idea what was going on. With a disgusted sigh, she grabbed the remote from the coffee table. She started going back through the scenes, trying to find the last place she remembered.

  “Now I have no idea what’s going on,” she complained, “and it’s all your fault.”

  Greg merely chuckled and cuddled her closer as she found the last scene she remembered before that mind-scrambling kiss.

  That night played over and over in her mind the following weeks, keeping her awake in the middle of the night and making her skin feel too tight for her body. The memories of that kiss and the way Greg looked at her, touched her, would enter her mind throughout the day.

  And tonight she would see him again. Charlotte felt anticipation swirl through her veins. When she realized the direction her thoughts were headed, she blew out a huge breath and reminded herself that Brandy would be there tonight. That she and Greg wouldn’t be alone.

/>   Her phone buzzed from an incoming text. Charlotte stopped staring mindlessly at the wall and grabbed her phone.

  Are u ready yet?

  It was from Brandy.

  Charlotte texted back, Yes

  I’ll be there in 5. Don’t make me wait.

  Charlotte grinned. No texting and driving.

  I’m at a red light.

  She sighed. Brandy could win almost any argument. I’ll be ready.

  Charlotte set the phone down and sat down on the bench at the end of her bed to put on her shoes. Since Brandy had vetoed the bowling idea, Greg had suggested pool. They all decided that would be fun and planned to go to a local bar that had several pool tables, dart boards, and they even had chess and checkers tables set up. There was nothing funnier than watching a group of very tipsy people try to play a game that required strategic thinking as chess did.

  True to her word, Brandy pulled up in front of the house five minutes later. Charlotte stepped out of the house and locked the front door behind her. When she got into Brandy’s car, her friend whistled.

  “Looking hot tonight, Charlie. Any particular reason?” she asked.

  Charlotte knew she was blushing. “Shut up.”

  Brandy laughed and put the car in gear. She knew all about the kiss that had been keeping Charlotte so distracted the last few weeks and she thought it was fantastic. Trying not to be obvious, Charlotte fidgeted with her shirt. She had chosen a jersey drape-neck shirt in deep blue to go over a lacy black camisole. Since she would be bending over a lot, she chose a pair of black skinny jeans instead of the knee length black pencil skirt she usually paired the shirt with. She topped the jeans with a pair of knee-high, stiletto-heeled black boots. While she wasn’t sure if she looked ‘hot’ as Brandy said, Charlotte knew that she looked better than usual.

  They chatted about their week as they drove to the bar. Brandy and Charlotte were meeting Greg there. As soon as they got to Charlie’s, which made Brandy laugh since that was her nickname for Charlotte, Brandy’s phone started ringing.