Only for You Read online

  A sense of surrealism overwhelmed me.

  "I'm not sure," I answered honestly, going into the house and moving out of his way so he could put the bags on the table.

  J.J. looked down at my feet and winced. "I wouldn't be surprised considering the state of your feet."

  "That's not it," I answered as I looked around my kitchen. A kitchen I now shared with J.J. "I think it just hit me that you're here and we're married."

  He grinned but the smile fell away when he saw the expression on my face. "Serious second thoughts?" he asked.

  I shook my head. "Not exactly. More like questioning why I now feel the need to ask your permission to use my own bathtub. Among other things."

  A frown tugged down the corners of his mouth. "You feel like you need my permission to use your own tub?"

  I realized my statement didn't make sense. "The only tub is in the guest bath, which I guess is now technically your bathroom. I'm not sure how you feel about people in what you should consider your private space."

  J.J. came closer. "Um, if I were renting a room and bathroom from you, maybe I'd have a problem with you taking a bath in my tub, but we're married."

  It was my turn to frown. "But not in the traditional sense," I pointed out. "We're not exactly planning to live as man and wife?" I grimaced at the term. "I never realized how much I hate that phrase before. 'Man and wife' as if a woman has no identity of her own unless it's in relation to her husband."

  "Is that what you're worried about?" J.J. asked. "That you won't have your own identity now that we're married?"

  "Huh?" I shook my head. "Sorry, that was a tangent not me voicing a concern. Though that could become an issue if you show yourself to be a closet misogynist."

  J.J. laughed a little and shook his head. "Okay, then we need to get back on track. If you had the only shower in the house in your bathroom, would you be upset if I wanted to use it?" he asked.

  I shook my head.

  "Then, that's your answer about my feelings on the subject. You want to use my bathroom, go ahead." He stepped closer. "I buy something you like at the grocery store and put it in the fridge, eat it. But maybe save me a piece." Now, he was less than a foot from me, his jacket and tie gone, and his shirt unbuttoned at the throat. "You decide you like my bed better than yours, the left side's free."

  I swallowed hard. Suddenly, I was very interested in the left side of Jay's bed and it wasn't because I was exhausted.

  When I inhaled, it was shaky. "Same goes for me, except maybe for the bed thing. Scott says you snore."

  I hadn't heard it during our night together but we hadn't exactly slept much.

  Also, my statement effectively deflated the sultry mood that swelled between us.

  J.J. smiled down at me. "Go soak in your tub while I bring the rest of the stuff in. Are you still full or do you want a snack?"

  "I may never eat again," I stated, knowing it was a lie. Now that I was approaching the end of my first trimester, there were days that I felt like I could eat everything in sight and still be hungry. After I was done puking my guts up, that was.

  "Then, I'll put the food away."

  "Thanks," I said.

  I moved past him toward the hallway, but he said my name and I stopped to look back at him.

  "If any other concerns or even random thoughts cross your mind about you, me, or our marriage, talk to me. Please? I would like for us to be a team." He smiled a little. "And when the baby comes, we'll definitely need to work together."

  My answering smile was diminutive as well. "I'll do the best I can if you do the same."

  Jay stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "I will."

  We stared at each other for a long moment before he removed his hands from his pockets. "I'd better get the rest of the stuff out of the car. I left the back door open."

  I nodded and went into my bedroom. I was just about to unzip my dress when I heard the scream.

  Heart pounding, I ran faster than I had since I competed in track in high school. I dashed down the hall, flew through the kitchen, out the side door, and found J.J. standing at the end of the carport, staring inside his car.

  "What is it?" I asked.

  "Stay back," he commanded, raising a hand. "There's a raccoon in my car and they carry rabies."

  I pressed my lips together so I wouldn't laugh when I glanced in the car and saw the enormous raccoon sitting in the backseat as if he was ready to go for a ride.

  "Rascal!" I said, putting my hands on my hips. "You get out of that car this instant."

  A few seconds later, tiny black paws touched the concrete, followed by the hefty belly. Rascal emerged from the car, his head down, as he lumbered past me.

  "Lee—" J.J. said, taking several steps toward me as though he were going to pull me away from the animal.

  Rascal stopped near my feet and turned back toward my new husband. He rose up on his hind legs, baring his teeth as he hissed.

  J.J. stopped in his tracks. "Crap." He shot me a quick look. "Go inside while I keep him distracted."

  I sighed. "J.J., this is Rascal. He's sort of a fixture around here." I looked down at the raccoon. "Stop being mean to J.J. He's a new friend."

  Rascal lifted his head to look at me, heaved a heavy sigh, and dropped back down to all fours before trudging around to the back of the house to the patio where I kept his food bowl.

  When I looked back at J.J., he was staring at me with his mouth open.

  "Are you telling me that raccoon is your pet? Don't you know how dangerous that is? They carry diseases. And fleas. That carry more diseases."

  "He's been coming around for a while now, since he was young."

  J.J. cocked his head and said, "He looks just like the one that comes around my sister's place, but that's over a mile away."

  "I don't think raccoons travel that far," I said with a shrug.

  "You do know it's not a good idea to feed wild animals, right?"

  "Yes, dear," I replied.

  J.J. made a sound that was part laugh, part sigh. "And so it begins."

  It was my turn to laugh as I approached the car. There were still a few small wedding gifts in the backseat, so I grabbed the bags and carried them into the house.

  A few moments later, J.J. followed me inside, two suitcases and a box in tow.

  "That can't be all of your stuff," I said, putting the gifts on the kitchen table next to the other bags.

  "It's not. I figured I'd go get the rest over the next couple of days. I haven't been back in town long enough to really settle into my new place, so I don't have a lot of furniture."

  "You didn't have furniture at your old place in Dallas?" I asked.

  He grinned. "When I put my house on the market, the guy buying it threw in extra money for the furniture. He liked what I had and didn't want to go shopping."

  I smiled back. "Did you tell him your mom picked it out?" I asked.

  He clapped a hand to his chest and stumbled back. "You wound me. You don't think I'm capable of picking out my own furniture?"

  "I'm sure you are," I replied, laughing. "But I know for a fact Colette picked it out because she showed my mother some of the pieces on her phone while she was trying to decide."

  "I guess there'll be no secrets between us. No mystery," J.J. sighed in mock defeat.

  "Our families have known each other too long," I said with a shrug.

  "I guess the upside is I don't have to be on my best behavior."

  "Uh, no, you still have to do that."

  He laughed. "Well, then as a husband on his best behavior, I'm telling you to go soak in the tub while I put everything away. And Dad wanted me to tell you to put some Epsom salt in a foot bath for your feet, but I imagine it'll work just as well in the tub." He paused. "Do you have Epsom salts?"

  I nodded. "I do." And now that J.J. had mentioned it, my feet were beginning to throb again.

  "Oh, he also said for you to stay hydrated and avoid salt if possible.
That should also help with the swelling." J.J. walked over to the fridge, got out a bottle of water, and brought it to me. "So if I'm constantly bugging you to drink water, that's why, and you can gripe at him instead of me when you get tired of it."

  I took the bottle. "Thank you. And fair warning, I've been having some mood swings, so the griping thing is a real possibility."

  J.J. put an arm around my shoulders for a side hug. "That's okay. I grew up with Cam during her teen years. I'm well-prepared."

  I laughed to myself. "I'm telling your sister you said that."

  He dropped his arm and gave me a gentle nudge toward the hall. "That's fine. I've said it to her face numerous times. Now, stop stalling and go take a bath. I'm exhausted and I'm betting you are, too."

  He was right. I was tired.

  But at the moment, things didn't seem awkward. I knew they would be when I emerged from my bath. I wasn't sure how I was going to navigate this marriage.

  "It's okay," J.J. said, as if he was reading my mind. "You don't have to do everything. I can handle putting away leftovers and shoving the presents in a corner until tomorrow."

  Okay, so he thought I was hesitating because I felt the need to do everything. But he was right, it would be all right. J.J. was obviously making an effort to start off our marriage smoothly.

  All I needed to do was make an effort, too.

  I left J.J. in the kitchen and took my bath.

  13

  The next morning, the sound of the front door slamming woke me. I squinted one eye, cursing the fact that I'd forgotten to close my curtains, and then sat straight up in bed when a man walked by my bedroom window.

  I was just about to grab my cell phone and call the police when the man returned to the window and stuck his face against it so that his nose turned up like a pig's.

  "Robert, get your nasty face off my window!" I yelled. "You better get the Windex and clean that grease smear before you leave!"

  He laughed. "I can see marriage hasn't done anything to improve your disposition. Don't you know it's past eight? Time to get out of bed!"

  I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and my eyebrows rose in surprise. It was nearly eight-thirty. I rarely slept this late.

  I guess I'd been more tired than I realized.

  I also realized that my nausea was especially mild this morning. My stomach was a little queasy from the jerky movements of sitting up, but I didn't think I was actually going to be sick.

  Awesome. Maybe I was getting over the all-day sickness that had plagued me.

  "Awww," Robert said. "Your new hubby must have made his side of the bed when he got up this morning. Wonder how long it'll last before he reverts to his slob-like ways?"

  I glanced over at the other side of my bed. I'd pulled the comforter and sheet loose from beneath the pillow in the night, so it was rumpled as though someone had slept on that side and pulled the blankets up when they rose.

  "As I recall, you and Scott were the slobs, not Jay. Now, get your nosy face away from my window so I can get up and get dressed."

  Robert didn't argue. He just rolled his eyes and disappeared from sight.

  The first thing I did when I got out of bed was close my curtains. After a quick peek in my backyard. To my surprise, I saw all four of my brothers back there with J.J. and they were standing in front of my storage shed. The double doors in front were open and I could see a few new boxes stacked on one side. Someone, probably J.J. or Clayton, had moved my Christmas and other assorted holiday decorations to the front on the opposite side so that they would still be easily accessible. It had to be one of them because D.J., Robert, and Scott wouldn't have given the boxes a second thought as they stacked everything right in front of them.

  Then they would have complained when I made them move everything so I could get to my stuff.

  Clayton shared my neatnik tendencies and J.J. seemed to know me just as well.

  I paused after I dropped the curtain back into place. It was a strange sort of paradox. J.J. knew me well enough to understand that I liked for things to be tidy, that I made lists so often I needed notebooks to keep them all organized, and that I was more than a bit of a control freak.

  Those were all facets of my personality that had been present since childhood. But he didn't know the adult Lee. And I didn't know the adult J.J., not well at least.

  We knew each other, but in some ways, it was as if we'd just met.

  A little unsettled at the thought, I grabbed a loose t-shirt and cotton shorts with an elastic waist and dressed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and hair, and decided that was all that could be expected of me on a Saturday morning the day after I'd gotten married.

  Also, the fact that my brothers were alone with my new husband was concerning. After yesterday, I didn't completely trust them to behave themselves.

  Still yawning, I made my way down the hall into the kitchen. Since I'd found out I was pregnant, I'd switched to a cup of hot tea in the mornings instead of coffee. It was caffeinated but it was a compromise. The brand I preferred had less caffeine than coffee so I figured a single cup every morning couldn't hurt too badly. Based on my online research on pregnancy, I knew most obstetricians allowed their patients a single cup of coffee per day, barring any complications.

  While the tea steeped, I shoved J.J.'s sneakers against the wall by the back door and slid my feet into my gardening clogs. A few minutes later, tea bag discarded, I carried the cup out onto my back-slash-side porch. I guess technically it would have been called a sunroom because the once screened-in windows were now glass and it remained warm enough in the fall and winter to grow herbs and potted vegetables like tomatoes. I'd even tried growing microgreens and small lettuces last year with moderate success.

  Growing up with a father who created landscapes and cared for flowerbeds and lawns, I'd learned the basics of gardening. Homegrown food was healthier and a lot cheaper, so I planted a spring and fall garden outside each year, too.

  But the sight in my backyard distracted me from all the plants thriving in my sunroom.

  D.J. was weeding the raised garden beds. Robert was building another raised bed to go with the two I already had. Clayton and Scott were helping J.J. unload the back of D.J.'s pick-up truck.

  Brody emerged from my storage shed, his hands on his hips as he talked to J.J., who was carrying another box up to the structure.

  Curious, I left the back porch-slash-sunroom and walked around to the backyard.

  "Hey," D.J. grunted as I approached him. "Your beds were getting a little overwhelmed, so I'm cleaning them out."

  "Thanks," I replied, sipping my tea.

  He glanced over. "That's not coffee, is it?" he asked. "Because you shouldn't have caffeine while you're pregnant."

  I stared at him as I sipped again, then answered, "It's tea and it has a low caffeine content."

  D.J. leaned back on his heels, looking up at me from where he knelt next to the garden beds. "Letitia didn't have caffeine at all while—"

  I lifted a hand and took another sip of tea. "Everything I've read says a small amount of caffeine is acceptable unless directed otherwise by your doctor."

  "And when are you going to see a doctor?" he asked. "You're what, twelve weeks along?"

  "Almost," I answered. "As soon as J.J. gets me on his insurance, I'll go."

  "And when is that going to be?" D.J. asked.

  "He'll fill out the online forms and such on Monday. Brody is going to try to push it through as quickly as possible."

  D.J. nodded and went back to weeding.

  Well, I guess he was done interrogating me for the day.

  I wandered over to Robert, whose back was to me as he screwed the frame of the garden bed to the corner posts that would keep it steady.

  I waited until he was done driving the screw before I asked, loudly, "When are you going to clean my window?"

  I hid my laugh behind my teacup when he jumped and twisted around to stare at me.

  "Jesus
, Lee, you scared the shit outta me!"

  I narrowed my eyes at his language and he sighed.

  "I'll clean the damn, uh, darn window as soon as I'm done here," he said. "You could at least thank me for building you another bed."

  "Thank you for building me a garden bed. Don't forget to clean the window."

  He laughed and shook his head before I wandered away to the truck that was nearly unloaded. I took a quick peek into my storage shed and saw that they'd neatly stacked the boxes in the far left corner and there was still room to spare inside.

  Brody saw me first and came over to give me a hug. "Hey, there, Lee. How's your first day as a married woman?" he asked.

  "I'll tell you when it's over."

  He grinned at me as J.J. made his way to us and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Mornin'," he said.

  He smelled crisp and clean and he wore a beat-up pair of jeans, a faded red tee, and battered tennis shoes. I wanted him to hug me the way Brody had.

  "Is that coffee?" he asked.

  I bit back a sigh. "No, dearest. It's tea and it's low caffeine. Your new eldest brother-in-law has already notified me that I shouldn't be having any, but I figure the cops won't agree when I give that as an excuse for beating someone over the head with a wooden spoon."

  Brody laughed, covering it with a cough when J.J. shot him a look.

  J.J. turned back to me and opened his mouth, but I kept speaking.

  "I haven't ordered any books on pregnancy yet, but I have spent some time online researching what I'm allowed to have or not have, and most doctors allow their patients a single cup of coffee or tea in the morning unless they have complications."

  "But you haven't seen a doctor yet," J.J. pointed out.

  "And when I do, I'll ask if I need to refrain. Until then, the tea not only helps prevent homicides, it soothes my stomach when I'm nauseated."

  He seemed to realize he wasn't going to win this argument so he shifted his focus. "How is your nausea? Any better?"

  I took another sip of my tea before I answered, "It's actually a lot better today. Other than a little queasiness when Robert jammed his face against my window this morning, I haven't felt sick at all. First time in a while, too."